


I've got a BONE to pick with you

by NegroLeo



Category: Swapfell - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Swapfell, F/M, Gang Leader Reader, Random Updates, Reader has a dark past, Tough Reader, universe hopping
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2018-05-21
Packaged: 2018-12-04 19:04:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11561421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NegroLeo/pseuds/NegroLeo
Summary: Or what if Y/n from RacoonSinQueen's story Six skeletons one maid was a bad ass gang leader in the world of swapfell.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [RacoonSinQueen](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=RacoonSinQueen).



> I was gonna make this exclusive for Swap Paps but damnit Sans he just worked his way in there.

Y/n had learned from an early age that in this world it was KILL or BE KILLED. You were either strong and survived, or were weak and were devoured. With a younger sibling to worry about Y/n didn’t have much of a choice but to become strong. So she had started fighting, working her way through her local gang’s chain of command. It wasn’t long before she stood at the top and earned the name : The Bloody Queen. As the years passed her reputation grew until all of Ebott City knew who she was. No one dared to mess with her, no one dared to touch her family. She had become strong. 

Then one day monsters that should have only belonged in stories, spilled out of the mountain. 

Suddenly things had changed. The monsters, (although people said they were made of love, compassion, and kindness), were rude, crass, and all seemed to shop at the local hot topic. Of course there were a lot of people who were against the monsters leaving the mountain. Even more so after the rumors circulated that the Queen had killed six children. 

Eventually though, with the help of the Monster Ambassador, monsters migrated down from the mountain into Ebott City. It became more common to see them walking down the street. What hadn’t changed was the fear, and distrust that most humans held for the monsters. 

Y/n really didn’t have an opinion. The whole thing was shocking sure, but so far no monster had harmed her or her family. So she didn’t care. The other members of her gang didn’t all share the same mindset as she did. 

“We need to take these monsters out Queen! Who knows when they’ll rise up and destroy us all?!” One of her followers had shouted at her. 

“Until they do I am not starting the next war, you are all to avoid conflict with monsters. That’s an order!” Y/n had replied. 

“I am not going to follow a monster lover!” The same person from before said. 

That meeting had ended with half of her gang leaving. Y/n knew it was for the best. She couldn’t have people who hated others for being different as part of her gang. Her territory was literally one of the safest places in the city. Y/n tolerated no violence, outside or not, so she couldn’t justify attacks on monsters anymore then she could on humans. 

Which is why she was so surprised when she heard the distinct sounds of someone being mugged in the alley next to her. Or actually it sounded more like a couple of guys were ganging up on someone. Glancing around the street Y/n noticed one of her gang’s marks on a nearby building. The upside heart with an arrow and sword slashing through it was as plain as ever. Which meant someone knew they were in her territory and just didn’t care. 

Which was a big mistake if they thought they were going to get away with it. 

Cracking her knuckles Y/n walked into the mouth of the alley her trusty pipe dangling from her side. As she drew closer she was able to identify four voices. 

“Look at it shake! What a freak!” The first voice laughed maliciously. 

“I heard they dust when they die you think that’s true?” Another voice asked.

“Why don’t we find out, I mean without a body no one is going to know,” The third voice said causing Y/n to grit her teeth.

They were talking about a monster. It didn’t change her desire to teach these idiots a lesson but it did cause her to grow angier. 

“YOU WILL UNHAND ME YOU PEASANTS! I DEMAND YOU RELEASE ME!” A shrill voice cried out. 

That had to be the monster. Y/n finally came to a halt a few feet away from the scene. Three men had a small skeleton(?) monster pinned on the ground. It looked as if they had tried to summon their magic only for the men to have slapped a magic draining collar on them. Which was totally illegal. 

“Oh shut up you brat!” The first man said kicking the skeleton in the stomach(?), “You should be glad we’re going to dust you. It means that everyone will finally learn how pathetic you creatures really are. Then no one will be afraid of you anymore and your kind will be put back where they belong.”

The speech only made Y/n roll her eyes. What a racist asshole.

“YOU PATHETIC WORMS, YOU’RE NOTHING MORE THAN USELESS BAGS OF MEAT THAT NEED TO BE PUT IN THEIR PLACES!” The skeleton growled pure hatred in their eyes.

“I said: SHUT UP!” The first man snarled kicking the pinned monster again and again. 

Which is where Y/n had to step in. 

“Now now boys I think this party has gone on long enough,” She said stepping into the light, “And you didn’t even think to invite me. I’m heartbroken really,”

“Who the fuck are you bitch?!” The first man snarled as the other two paled.

“Oh shit it’s the queen.” The second man muttered.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” The first man asked turning to look at his companion.

“The Bloody Queen, she’s the one who rules this area. People say she’s taken down entire gangs by herself,” The second man stuttered as the third began edging away.

“Oh yeah how do you know that’s even her?” The first man asked although his voice shook a little.

“That mark on her coat! Only the Queen can wear it!” He replied pointing at Y/n.

The mark he was talking about was a variation of her gang’s mark. The only differences were a crown that was suspended over the heart and a scythe instead of an arrow and sword. 

Fear was now evident on their faces, the monster was watching you with a mixture of curiosity and wariness. Winking at them Y/n unstrapped the pipe from her waist and began twirling it between her fingers. Man #1 must not have been the smartest seeing as he slapped a brave face on and sneered at her. 

“Oh yeah? Well I’m not buying it and if some bitch wants to pretend to be tough then I think we should teach her a lesson,” He even had the nerve to lick his lips at the idea. 

“Well well I guess the only way to know for sure if I’m the real deal is to come find out for yourself,” Y/n taunted.

The first man, who she’d assumed was the leader by now, snarled and dashed forward. Like an idiot. He didn’t expect her to dodge and bring her pipe down on his head. 

“Hey monster boy let me teach you a few lessons about living around her. Lesson number one: Never rush your opponent,” Y/n said as the man crumpled. 

“You bitch!” He groaned jumping up and taking a swing at her. 

“Lesson number two: Always keep your cool,” She said ignoring him as she dodged again and slammed the pipe into his stomach. 

The leader fell to his knees his arms wrapped around his stomach as he gasped for air. Y/n sneered and brought her pipe down again hearing a satisfying crack as it connected with his spine. The other two men were paler then the skeleton they hovered over. They knew they had messed up.

“Look Queen we didn’t mean any disrespect! We were just following out buddy there is all,” The second man spoke up as his “buddy” fell to the ground in a heap.

“Y-Yeah, w-we’ll just get out of your h-hair,” The third man stuttered looking as if he were about to pee himself. 

“Oh boys thanks for reminding me,” Y/n smiled swinging her pipe as she stepped towards them, “Lesson number three my dear skelly: Show no MERCY.”

-

In a matter of seconds the other two men were on the ground with Y/n standing over them. She scoffed at how fast it had all happened. She’d been looking forward to a work out but it had only taken a couple hits to incapacitate the idiots. Sliding her trusty weapon back into it’s slot on her hips she turned to face the monster. Who had been strangely quiet this whole time. 

The skeleton now that she got a closer look was smaller then she would have guessed. Their head was slightly rounder then a humans and their bones (from what she could see) were thicker. They wore a strange combination of armour/crop top and shorts. As well as a tattered red scarf that dangled around their neck. Y/n really wasn’t sure what to make of them. 

“Hey you’re not a kid right?” She asked walking over to them ignoring the bodies she stepped over. 

“I’LL HAVE YOU KNOW WORTHLESS HUMAN THAT THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SANS IS FAR FROM A CHILD!” The skeleton-Sans said scowling as she drew closer. 

“Okay that’s good then. If you had been a kid I might have to murder these guys, and I really didn’t want to get blood on these jeans. They’re my favorite,” Y/n explained.

“THEY ARE NICE….NEVERTHELESS HUMAN! I DEMAND YOU RELEASE ME FROM THESE BONDS AT ONCE! SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS I SHOULDN’T BE- What Are You Doing With That Knife?” Sans started to shout only for his voice to trail off as he noticed the weapon in Y/n’s hands. 

“Don’t worry about it just stay still,” Y/n replied grabbing Sans by his shirt to drag him closer. 

“H-HUMAN Y-YOU WILL PUT THE WEAPON AWAY AND RELEASE ME THIS INSTANT!” He screamed his eye(lights?) never leaving the knife.

“Just hold still,” Y/n huffed slightly annoyed. 

Sans could only stare as she brought the knife to his neck. Clamping his mouth shut he refused to give the human any satisfaction in hearing him scream. He knew what humans did to monsters who were captured. He had been stupid enough to become one of them and now he was going to die. His eyes slammed shut as the knife brushed his throat waiting for the overwhelming pain that would signal his demise. 

Only it didn’t come. 

Cautiously opening one eye Sans was rewarded with the sight of the female human (Queen the other humans had called her) pull back the collar that had previously been around his throat in her hands. After dropping the offending strip of magicked leather on the ground she turned and began sawing at the ropes binding his hands. Once they too were off she flipped the knife shut before sliding it back into one of her pockets. 

“There now that wasn’t so hard, you okay? They didn’t hurt you too bad did they?” Y/n asked as Sans stared at her with awe.

“AS IF THOSE PATHETIC HUMANS COULD HURT SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS ME! THEY ARE ONLY LUCKY I WAS UNABLE TO FIGHT BACK! AS A FORMER MEMBER OF THE ROYAL GUARD I WOULD HAVE PUNISHED THEM FOR THEIR CRIMES,” Sans scoffed crossing his arms, “ALTHOUGH THAT DOES NOT SEEM NECESSARY SINCE YOU HAVE DONE IT FOR ME.”

“Well glad to be of service,” Y/n smiled finding the small tsundere skeleton cute, “You gonna be alright getting home by yourself?”

“I SHALL SIMPLY CALL THE MUTT TO COME GET ME. DO NOT WORRY YOURSELF ABOUT MY WELL BEING HUMAN QUEEN! WE MONSTERS ARE MUCH STRONGER THEN YOU HUMANS,” Sans said turning his head away with a scoff.

Although Y/n was curious who this “Mutt” person was she decided to let it go. Standing up she was about to leave when she noticed the state of the others clothes. Long tears and dirt littered the once pristine fabric. The overall appearance made Y/n think of zombies after they’d risen from their graves. Without a second thought she stripped off her jacket and tossed it at the other.

“Wear that you look like a mess. Don’t worry about getting it back to me I have others,” Y/n said before she turned to walk off.

“I-I DON’T NEED THIS YOU WHELP! THE HORRIBLE SANS ALWAYS L-LOOKS HIS BEST!” Sans shouted after her his hands gripping the jacket despite his words.

“You’re welcome,” Y/n called back before she disappeared from view. 

-

Sans stared at the jacket long after it’s owner had left. Huffing he slid his arms through it surprised that the sleeves weren’t too long. It was actually quite warm. Climbing to his feet he began to exit the alley only stopping to survey the bodies that littered the trash littered ground. 

“ _HOW FITTING_ ,” He thought before walking away one hand going to the phone safely hidden in his boots.

As he walked down the street he noticed monsters and humans alike staring at him. Normally this wouldn’t be strange. I mean who wouldn’t stare at someone as magnificent as him? It was only when he heard the humans title that he stopped.

_“That’s the Queen’s jackets!”_

_“Why would a monster have that?”_

_“You think he stole it?”_

_“Naw the Queen wouldn’t stand for that, she must have given it to him.”_

_“Does that mean he’s off limits?”_

_“Whatever it is I’m not messing with him, I rather not tango with the Bloody Queen.”_

That intrigued him. Apparently the human whose jacket he was wearing was well known. And feared going by the snippets of conversation he heard. Storing away that information for later he scrolled through his contacts before finally settling on the one he was looking for. 

“MUTT YOU”D BETTER ANSWER YOUR PHONE!” Sans mumbled as he hit the call button. 

“hello? m’lord?” A deep gravely voice asked seconds later.

“WHO ELSE WOULD BE CALLING YOU, YOU DUMB MUTT?!” Sans barked, “I NEED YOU TO COME GET ME!”

“of course m’lord where are you?” The voice asked followed by the sound of something shifting in the background.

Sans listed off the name of the street he was on before ending the call. Shoving his arms deeper into the borrowed jacket Sans grumbled under his breath. He hated having to rely on the mutt but because of those worthless wastes of space he had no idea how to get home from here. Not that he would ever admit such a thing out loud. As he waited his thoughts drifted to the other human. Maybe it wouldn’t be a terrible thing if he were to see her again. 

….

Only because there was no way she could stand not seeing him again for the rest of her life. Yes, that was the reason. Her life would be dull and boring without his presences! Snuggling deeper into the jacket Sans vowed to find a way to see the Queen human again. Only for her sake of course. 

-

It was a week before Y/n met the skeleton monster again. She was at the park with her younger sister, enjoying one of the few warm days left before fall set in completely. Y/n was resting on one of the park benches when her sister wandered over with another kid. One who she could have sworn she’d seen somewhere before. 

“Hey sis? Can we Chara get some ice cream with us?” She asked gesturing to the other child whose hand she held.

“I don’t know squirt, is it okay with Chara’s parents?” Y/n asked glancing at the other child. 

Red eyes peered at her from under long brown bangs. Y/n wasn’t sure if they were a boy or a girl but decided it didn’t matter anyway. That sense of deja vu crept over her the longer she looked at the child. She was sure she’d seen them somewhere. 

**I’m here with my uncle! And he won’t mind!** Chara signed pulling their hand free to do so. 

“Oh really?” Y/n asked not believing a word, “Well why don’t we go ask them just to be safe okay?”

Chara looked put out by that but didn’t argue. Instead they led Y/n and her sister over to another set of benches on the other side of the park. A skeleton was sitting on the bench a cigarette dangling from their mouth. How Y/n didn’t know. Spotting their group the skeleton quickly put it out before standing up. 

“hey kid what’s going on?” The skeleton asked their eye(sockets?) drifting from Chara to Y/n and back.

**Is it okay if I got get ice cream with Y/n and her sister?** Chara signed bouncing impatiently. 

“i don’t know kiddo, wouldn’t want to impose on ms. y/n like that,” The skeleton replied glancing over at Y/n as he spoke. 

“Wouldn’t be any trouble on our part,” Y/n replied.

“you really don’t have to,” The skeleton said looking nervous and slightly agitated.

“Like I said it’s no trouble, take it as compensation for Chara putting up with this one over here,” Y/n said reaching out to ruffle her sister's hair.

“Y/n! Not my hair!” Lily protested. 

“Sorry lils,” Y/n said through a smirk, “So what do you say bone boy let me treat you guys to some ice cream?”

Although she’d phrased it like a question both adults knew it wasn’t. They glared at each other for a moment, waiting for the other to back down. The skeleton was the first to look away sweat having collected on his skull. Whoever this lady was she radiated the same “no-nonsense” aura as his lord. 

“fine but i don’t need any it’ll just go right through me,” He muttered gauging the others reaction. 

Chara and Lily both groaned at the pun while Y/n snorted. It wasn’t that great but she still appreciated the other's humor. 

“Okay then let’s get these munchkins some ice cream,” She said.

The skeleton nodded falling into step next to her as the two kids raced ahead. Glancing at the other from the corner of her eye Y/n fully took him in. He wore a large black jacket with the fur lined hood up. The rest of his outfit consisted on a tattered red shirt and black pants. The two things that caught her eye the most were the bright red collar around his neck and a gold tooth. 

“So I never caught your name stranger,” Y/n said nonchalantly.

“must be cause I didn’t give it,” The skeleton replied pulling out another cigarette. 

“That could be. So you gonna tell me what it is or am I going to have to resort to calling you bone boy?” Y/n asked as he lit up. 

“...papyrus,” He finally muttered his voice dropping to a near growl. 

“Nice to meet you Papyrus, I’m just gonna call you Paps for now.”

Papyrus only rolled his eyes at that. There were worse names he’d been called. Not that he cared to correct Y/n. There was something about her that said it would be better to just let her do what she wanted. Once the kids had gotten their ice cream (Lily got Strawberry, Y/n got mint chocolate chip, and Chara got death by chocolate), they all sat down at a nearby picnic table. Chara offered to share theirs with Papyrus but he turned them down, just because they were acting all sweet and innocent now didn’t mean they wouldn’t turn genocide if he let his guard down. 

“Y/n can we go play now?” Lily asked once everyone had finished their sweet treats.

“Sure but don’t go too far,” Y/n replied watching as the two children took off before she could finish her sentence, “Kids can’t sit still for more then a few minutes.”

Papyrus scoffed turning his gaze on the human in front of him. He hadn’t gotten a good look at their soul before but now he could see it clear as day. It shone bright and clear despite the few cracks that littered its surface. Seeing the stats caused him to nearly choke. How could a human have such high HP?

**Y/n**

**HP: 984**

**EXP: 100**

**LV: 3**

**Will do anything to protect those she cares about.**

This human was dangerous Papyrus decided. So he did what he did best. 

“you know y/n you seem like a decent person,” Papyrus said catching her attention, “but even so if you so much as look at a monster wrong. well you’re **g o n n a h a v e a b a d t i m e.** ”

Y/n watched as magic swirled in one of Papyrus’s eye(sockets) as he spoke. It would have been scary to most people. Would have being the key terms here. Y/n could only break down laughing. Stunned papyrus let his magic return to it’s normal dormant state. That was not the reaction he usually got. 

“Sorry sorry I know you were trying to be all bad ass and cool but you are barking up the wrong tree pal,” Y/n snorted fighting to get her laughter under control, “If you weren’t so cute I would string you up like a Halloween decoration for threatening me like that.”

All the words were delivered with a smile there was a cold undertone that made Papyrus shiver. Who was this human? And why was he getting turned on by the fact that she wasn’t afraid of him?

“Anyway let’s drop all the hardcore talk for now. I’ve got a question for you Paps. You wouldn’t happen to know a skeleton by the name of Sans would you?” Y/n asked her eyes sparkling with amusement.

“you know m’lord?” Papyrus asked still a little shocked from earlier.

“Yup! Would I be wrong in assuming you’re the “mutt” he talked about?”

“uh no that’s what m’lord calls me,” Papyrus said rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh good I just wanted to know if he was alright and if he had any more encounters with the idiots from a couple weeks ago,” Y/n said catching Papyrus’s attention.

“what idiots?” He growled out.

“Oh a couple of guys thought they could gang up on him. Don’t worry I taught them a very painful lesson they won’t forget,” Y/n smiled sweetly at her own words. 

“what does that make you-,” Papyrus started to say.

“MUTT! WHERE ARE YOU?!” A shrill voice filled the air cutting him off. 

“m’lord! what are you doing here?!” Papyrus asked jumping up.

“I’VE COME TO COLLECT THE LITTLE HUMAN! SIR ASGORE REQUESTED I PICK THEM UP EARLY SINCE THEY HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW!” Sans said stepping into view, “IT’S NO WONDER HE CHOSE SOMEONE AS RELIABLE AS ME TO CARRY OUT SUCH A TASK SEEING AS YOU ARE NOTHING BUT INCOMPETENT MUTT.”

“of course he picked you m’lord. you’re the coolest,” Papyrus said as Sans marched over to him without noticing Y/n.

“I AM AREN’T I? NOW WHERE IS THE TINY HUMAN SO WE M-,” Sans cut himself off as he noticed Y/n sitting at the table, “H-HUMAN Q-QUEEN?!”

“Hey Sans long time no see,” Y/n greeted as Sans turned a bright purple.

“OF COURSE IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME UNLIKE YOU I HAVE IMPORTANT MATTERS THAT REQUIRE MY CONSTANT ATTENTION. NO DOUBT THOUGH YOU HAVE BEEN MISSING ME EVERYDAY! I DO NOT BLAME YOU I WOULD MISS SOMEONE AS MAGNIFICENT AS MYSELF TOO,” Sans said crossing his arms and attempting to look stoic. 

“You’re right Sans it’s a miracle I survived this long without seeing you,” Y/n said dramatically ignoring the looks Papyrus was sending her.

“YES TRULY, ANYWAY I MUST DEPRIVE YOU OF MY PRESENCE ONCE MORE! YOU WILL NO DOUBT LANGUISH IN AGONY EVERY MOMENT UNTIL I GRACE YOU BY WITH MY INCREDIBLENESS AGAIN,” Sans replied looking pleased. 

“Oh how I will suffer,” Y/n said cooing internally at the cute skelly in front of her.

“HMM I SEE THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE BUT TO TAKE PITY ON YOU,” Sans said before grabbing a piece of paper and shoving it in her hands, “DO TRY AND CONTAIN YOURSELF FROM CALLING ME ALL HOURS OF THE DAY. AS IMPOSSIBLE AS THAT SEEMS.”

“I’ll do my best,” Y/n said stowing the slip of paper away.

“GOOD COME MUTT WE MUST NOT DALLY ANY FURTHER!” Sans commanded before walking off.

“yes m’lord,” Papyrus replied dutifully.

“See you round hot stuff,” Y/n teased as Papyrus turned to walk away.

“sorry sweetie but the only thing hot here is you,” He said shooting a wink her way.

“Oh I don’t know, if I’m a hot as you say maybe I should cool down by jumping some bones,” Y/n replied without a moment's hesitation.

Papyrus blushed shoving his hood up further as he turned and walked away. Y/n laughed as she watched him go feeling pride in making the skelly blush. Maybe life would be a little more interesting now with these two skeletons in her life.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So you asked and pleaded and here it is chapter 2! This won't be a full blown series but a mini one. I only have planned for five chapters but it won't go over ten. Hope you all enjoy this one! Don't know when the next one will be out!

Despite others disbelief or outright shock Y/n did have a job besides running one of the largest gangs in the city. She ran a small tattoo shop that also doubled as an engravers. Most of the artists were members of her gang, those who weren’t turned a blind eye to her other activities. Y/n loved her job as it gave her a chance to show off her skills and it put food on the table. A win, win in her eyes. 

Currently she was sketching out a design for a customer coming in later. It was a dragon curled around a trident. She had just finished sketching out the scales on the lower tail when one of her minions/henchmen/underlings/cronies/yes men stuck his head through her doorway.

“Ey Boss it’s almost three,” He said waiting sweating as she set the pencil aside. 

“Already? Man where does the time go?” He didn’t answer figuring it was a rhetorical question, “Alright you lot watch the shop I’m going to pick up Lily. Anything happens call me like if we get clients, or the police come, or there’s a drive by. The usual stuff.”

“You got it Boss!” He replied as she stepped past him.

“Oh and if Damian drops by tell him I’d better not see him round here again or else,” Y/n said shrugging on her jacket.

“Or else what Boss?” He asked causing her to pause in her ministrations.

“I don’t know, or else he’ll be sleeping with the fishes? Just make up some stereotypical gangster line or something. I’d rather not waste precious brain cells thinking about that idiot,” Y/n replied.

“Got it Boss! You and Ms. Lily have a safe trip!”

Y/n gave a two finger salute before stepping out the door. As she passed by the entrance to the alley she stopped to consider driving her motorcycle to pick Lily up. After a second she tossed the idea out the window and resumed walking. Thankfully Lily’s school wasn’t too far away, something Y/n had come to appreciate, and soon she was stepping onto the disgustingly perfect lawn. 

Some of the mothers who were there to pick up their kids sent her glares and looks of disapproval. Y/n only turned shooting them a wink before flipping her hair back to reveal the five studs she wore and the tattoo on her neck. This of course sent them into a tizzy as they all ushered their children away from the “bad influence.” Y/n only chuckled as she approached the two figures sitting on the school steps. One was her sister and the other was Kara? Charm? The kid they had met the other day at the park. As she drew closer both children looked up at her. 

“Hey Lils you wait long?” She asked plopping down on the steps next to them showing off one of her other tattoos (this one was of a flaming skull on her stomach that had a phoenix perched on it).  
She was rewarded with the sounds of nearly twenty moms huffing in disapproval. As a smirk settled on her lips Lily looked over at her with a scowl. Karly? Charmander? Looked over at her with awe.

“You know you’re the reason I don’t have a lot of friends right?” Lily asked as Y/n glanced at her, “One of these days Helen is going to report you to the school board.”

“That wench? She’d probably kill them all with her lemon bars first. Besides I got every right to be here, who knows what dangerous people could be lurking about to kidnap my poor innocent and sweet little sister?” Y/n let her voice drop down in a poor imitation of a gushy mom. 

“Yeah they’re the ones I’m worried about. Not my older sister who nearly destroyed a building because the ran out of her favorite flavor of cup ramen,” Lily replied sarcastically.

**Did you really destroy a building?** Chara (That’s what it was! Not Charmander that was a type of pokemon) signed with stars in their eyes.

“Hey you don’t mess with a girls ramen,” Y/n replied her face serious.

**That sounds like something one of my Aunts would say.** Chara signed.

“Yeah? Well I doubt they’re as badass as me,” Y/n replied throwing a wink at the kid, “Speaking of adult figures though. Are you waiting for someone to come pick you up?”

“Yeah, Chara’s dad usually comes and gets them but he’s late,” Lily supplied, “I figured since you were coming soon I would wait with them.”

“Awww my sweet little sis always looking out for others!” Y/n cooed grabbing said sister in an arm lock and mussing up her hair.

“Not my hair!” Lily complained earning a giggle from Chara.

“Sorry Lils older sister privileges. Any who you wanna just come home with us Chara? You can phone your dad from our place,” Y/n offered after releasing Lily.

**I don’t know my dad said never to go home with strangers.** Chara signed with a smirk.

“Chara you wound me! We had ice cream together! I shared my napkins with you!” Y/n replied dramatically falling over on the ground.

Chara only giggled as Lily shook her head with a frown. Grabbing her stuff she stood up and pulled Chara to their feet. Stepping over her sister's body she huffed and began walking away.

“Come on Chara let's go. We can head to my place while my sister continues acting like an idiot,” Lily declared glaring at your “corpse”.

**Should we really leave her like that though?** Chara signed still giggling.

“Meh she’ll get up eventually. Like maybe when a dog pees on her or something,” Lily shrugged, “In the meantime we can go eat all her secret chocolate stash.”

“I HEARD THAT!” Y/n yelled jumping to her feet and rushing after the giggling duo.

“YOU WERE MEANT TOO!”

“COME BACK HERE SO I CAN FEAST ON YOUR BRAINS!”

“NOOOOOOOOOO!”

-

By the time the three of them had returned to the shop Chara had crawled on her shoulders and Lily was being carried under one arm. It certainly was a strange sight but one members of her gang had grown used to. 

“Hey boss welcome back, something seems different about you though,” One of her men joked as she walked through the door, “Did you get a haircut while you were out?”

“Naw my hairs the same. Although I think I grew a couple extra inches and put on a little weight. What do you think?” Y/n asked turning in a circle so he could take her in. 

Chara only laughed as Lily groaned. Every. Single. Day. They did this routine. Sure it was funny the first couple times but now it was just torture!

“Hmmm that might be it! Glad we got that figured out. So who’s the new squirt?” He asked as Y/n set both kids down.

“Oh this is Chara they’re going to be hanging here until their ride comes. Let the others know k?” Y/n replied off handedly.

“You got it boss!” He said before vanishing in the back.

“Okay so you guys go ahead and set up, I’m going to get back to work. Chara don’t forget to call your folks kay?” Both Lily and Chara nodded before dashing away.

Shaking her head Y/n got back to work. Moving back into her workspace she started working on the dragon tattoo design from earlier. After ten minutes Y/n set down her pencil and looked over what she’d drawn. The dragon was curled protectively over the trident looking as if it were two seconds away from reducing her to ash. Grinning proudly Y/n set it aside and stood up thinking about checking on the kiddos before doing anything else. 

Stepping back out into the main area of her shop she was met with the sight of a short yellow dinosaur holding one a glowing axe to one of her men's throats. Tilting her head sideways Y/n leaned against the doorway trying to make sense of the situation. The dinosaur didn’t seem to notice her and growled.

“Alright punk start talking and maybe I’ll let you keep your head!” Her voice was kind of husky, as if she had spent hours screaming before coming here. 

Y/n surveyed the scene once more before letting out a short sigh as her man whimpered pathetically. She was a little proud and disappointed all at once. Sure he wasn’t talking even with a monster seconds away from ripping out his throat. But he’d also been captured which meant she would have to get involved. Sometimes Y/n hated having a conscience.

“So…..” She drawled catching the dinosaurs attention, “Care to explain what I’m seeing right now?”

“B-Boss!” The guy stuttered causing the dinosaur to glance between the two of you before letting him go.

“You the leader round here?” She questioned turning her hate filled gaze on Y/n.

“Yup,” Y/n replied the p ending with a small pop, “Something I can help you with?”

“You can help by handing over the Queen's kid before I tear this place apart! Did you stupid, useless meat sacks thinks we wouldn’t notice if they went missing?! I should cut you down just for putting your filthy hands on them!” The dinosaur roared the axe materializing once more. 

Y/n barely blinked as the axe was pressed against her throat. In fact she yawned and cracked her neck as a tense silence filled the air. 

“I assume you’re talking about Chara?” Y/n asked sounding bored something that pissed the dino off.

“How dare you speak their name you miserable sack of sh-” They growled eyes glowing red for a second.

“Right I’m going to stop you there. See I don’t appreciate people coming into my place of work and threatening my guys. Now I can understand being worried, kid you’re in charge of goes missing I get it. But that gives you now right to lay a weapon against my throat understand?” Y/n’s voice dropped the more she spoke the air growing colder around them, “Now you are going to back away from me or else I’m going to find out how long I can torture a monster before they dust okay?”

Alphys didn’t know what was going on. One moment she was ready to tear every human in the building to shreds. Her anger had known no bounds when the former king had called saying Chara had been kidnapped. They had all feared the worst and it had taken no time for her to hunt down the ones responsible. She had thought it would be a simple task to retrieve them. Only know was she questioning her decision to come alone. 

She had never met a human who radiated such levels of magic without actually wielding any. Though she was loathe to admit it Alphys was scared. It felt like she was facing a storm, one that was bigger and stronger then anything she could ever hope to take on. Her instincts were screaming at her to leave. It was only her pride that made her hold her ground.

“I don’t care what you do to me punk, but if you so much as hurt a hair on their head I guarantee there won’t be a place on this miserable planet that you will be able to hide from us,” Alphys hated the small tremble that accompanied her words. 

“Duly noted. Now step back,” Y/n ordered smirking.

Alphys growled but complied. 

“Good now that that’s settled you go get the Lily and Chara, I would go myself but I’d rather continue my friendly chat with….what’s your name?” Y/n turned to the dino as the guy jumped up to obey her command.

“I’m not going to give my name to a fucking mage,” Alphys growled as the guy she’d threatened ran out of the room.

“Oh come on that’s not fair! I have to know if you’re the aunt that I’m like or not!” Y/n whined. 

One the walk there Chara had told them a little more about their aunts. One who was a strong ex-captain of the royal guard, and the other who was a slightly the slightly unhinged ex-royal scientist. Chara had explained how both had a love for gorey anime and manga. From the looks of the person/monster in front of her Y/n was betting this was the former captain. Looks however could be deceiving so she wasn’t completely sure. 

“You’re a freak you know that?” Alphys asked frowning at the sudden mood change.

“Yeah I’ve been told that on more then one occasion. I’m Y/n by the way. Y/n L/n and before you ask yes I will go on a date with you,” Y/n said winking at the stunned monster. 

“What makes you think I’d ever go on a date with you? Firstly I have a girlfriend already and secondly I hate humans,” Alphys growled.

“Even so my sweet sweet dino we simply have to go out on a date. It’s inevitable seeing as it’s a good way take a breather since you’ve been running through my thoughts all day,” Y/n said shooting the dino her signature finger guns. 

“What even are you?” Alphys asked after a second of stunned silence.

“One of a kind babe, one of a kind,” Y/n replied winking again. 

Alphys couldn’t hold it in anymore and began laughing. Y/n smirked leaning back against the wall. Yeah she was a flirt. A horrible horrible flirt. While her companion fought to get herself under control Y/n pulled out her phone. She was a little surprised at all the new texts she’d gotten. She’d gotten ten in under a minute. Then she saw who’d sent them and relaxed a little.

**Bad to the Bone: HUMAN QUEEN!**

**Bad to the Bone: YOU MUST ANSWER SOMETHING TERRIBLE HAS HAPPENED!**

**Bad to the Bone: CHARA HAS GONE MISSING!**

**Bad to the Bone: HIS FORMER MAJESTY HAS SENT ALL MEMBERS OF THE FORMER ROYAL GUARD OUT TO FIND THEM!**

**Bad to the Bone: THIS OF COURSE INCLUDES ME!**

**Bad to the Bone: LET ME KNOW IF YOU SEE THEM!**

**Bad to the Bone: HUMAN QUEEN CAPTAIN ALPHYS HAS INFORMED ME THAT SHE HAS FOUND CHARA!**

**Bad to the Bone: SHE IS ABOUT TO CONFRONT THE PEOPLE WHO TOOK THEM NOW!**

And that’s where the texts stopped. Glancing over at the monster Y/n noted she had calmed down and was now texting someone. Y/n had a pretty good guess on who it was. Sure enough not a second after Alphys put her phone away Y/n’s buzzed. She received a suspicious look from the monster as she read the next message. 

**Bad to the Bone: HUMAN QUEEN! CAPTAIN ALPHYS HAS INFORMED ME THAT YOU WERE THE ONE WHO KIDNAPPED CHARA! IS THIS TRUE!?**

**Bloody Red Queen: Yeah my bad. I thought they’d called and told someone where they were. Guess not.**

After texting back Y/n tucked her phone away before turning to her companion. 

“So Alphys is it? Mind telling me how you knew my name?” Y/n asked crossing her arms as she raised an eyebrow at the dino.

“Huh? What are you- Wait how the fuck do you know my name punk!?” Alphys snarled her magic buzzing as it formed loosely in her hands.

“Sans,” Y/n supplied.

“Wait….You’re the super cool human he was going on about?!” Alphys asked much to Y/n’s delight.

“Aww has he been talking about me? That’s so sweet!” Y/n gushed.

“And now it all makes sense,” Alphys mumbled.

“What makes sense?” Y/n asked tilting her head to the side.

Before Alphys could respond Chara and Lily dashed into the room. Chara looked around with wide eyes as they took in the room and its two occupants. When they didn’t see any sign of trouble they relaxed before making their way over to Alphys. 

**What are you doing here Aunt Alphys?** Chara signed as Alphys growled.

“I’m here because no one knew where you were squirt! You had us all worried sick! Thought some anti-monster group had snatched ya or somethin,” Alphys replied growling lowly in her throat at the thought. 

“Didn’t I tell you to call someone?” Y/n asked as Chara pulled back with a sheepish look on their face.

**Sorry I must have forgot.** Chara signed sheepishly.

“Sorry my ass just wait till I get you home. His majesty was sick with worry, he’ll probably dust when he finds out he was worried for nothing.,” Alphys commented as Chara dipped their head guiltily. 

“Oh come on he can’t be that bad. Besides from what Chara has told me he’s quite the CHARA-cter,” Y/n said winking at the gloomy child. 

Lily groaned as Chara giggled at the pun. 

“Please not the puns, I think I’d rather deal with an angry former king of monsters then deal with your puns,” Lily said shaking her head. 

“Oooh ouch. No need to give me the-” Y/n started.

“Don’t you dare,” Lily growled. 

“....COLD shoulder,” Y/n finished as her sister groaned.

Chara began laughing harder as Lily rushed over and began beating her fists against her sister's chest. Alphys shook her head before perking up as she felt a familiar magic growing closer. Smirking she moved out of the doors path. Not a second later Sans slammed the door opened and dived inside barreling into Y/n as he rolled across the floor. Y/n ended up under Sans their faces inches apart as he loomed over her. Alphys didn’t hesitate to take out her phone snatching a photo or five of the moment. 

Sans for his part felt his magic rush to his face as he barely dared to breathe. (Not that skeleton monsters needed to breathe in the first place) Y/n on the other hand only smirked before relaxing in her position on the floor. 

“Wow Sans I knew you liked me but I didn’t think you were already FALLING for me,” Y/n said with a wink. 

“You Did Not Just Say That,” Sans scowled all embarrassment gone.

“Well I mean I can’t say I blame you, since I’m HEAD OVER HEELS for you too,” Y/n smirk only grew as Sans began shrieking with disgust.

“HUMAN QUEEN YOU WILL STOP WITH THESE PUNS NOW!” Sans demanded.

Oh come on Sans you gotta learn to ROLL with these things,” Y/n only replied.

Sans let out a loud unholy yell as he jumped to his feet. Chara was near rolling on the floor with laughter while Lily only looked on with disappointment. Shooting finger guns at her sister Y/n jumped up barely catching the tail end of Sans’s rant. 

“....JUST LIKE THAT USELESS MUTT! THIS IS THE LAST TIME I COME CHECK ON YOU!” Sans yelled stomping his feet. 

“Awww did you come because you were worried about me?” Y/n cooed.

“DO NOT THINK SO HIGHLY OF YOURSELF HUMAN! I-I WAS SIMPLY COMING TO MAKE SURE CHARA WAS RETURNED HOME SAFELY!” Sans coughed his face lighting up with his magic again. 

“Uh huh sure.”

“IT”S TRUE! I WAS NOT WORRIED THAT CAPTAIN ALPHYS HAD HURT YOU OR YOU HAD BEEN TAKEN HOSTAGE ALONG WITH CHARA OR ANY SUCH THING!” Sans protested. 

“Don’t worry about me Sans. There’s no way she would have been able to lay a claw on me if I were being serious,” Y/n said trying to sound comforting. 

If only she knew what would happen after those words left her mouth. She probably would have still said them anyway.

“What do ya mean by that punk. You saying I’d lose to a weakling like you?!” Alphys demanded stepping in front of Y/n with a snarl.

“Hey no need to get all defensive about it. I’m only telling the truth,” Y/n shrugged.

“Like Hell I would lose! I could snap a twig like you with one claw!” Alphys growled. 

“Is that a threat?”

“That’s a fucking promise!”

“Well then would you put money on it?” Y/n asked feeling irritated now.

“I’d bet my soul on it because there’s no way you would even be able to lay a scratch on me!” Alphys shot back the two inches away from each other now.

“Fine then, let’s make a bet! Loser has to do whatever the winner says no exceptions!” Y/n sneered.

“Name your time and place human!”

As the two snarled at each other Lily, Chara and Sans watched on with varying degrees of emotion. Lily was frustrated her sister was starting things again. Chara was excited to see what happened next. And Sans? He stood there in awe as he watched Y/n’s soul light up. He had never seen such a bright soul before with the exception of Chara’s. Y/n’s soul glowed with irritation and excitement. It made his own pound. 

_**Thud-Thump.** _


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took awhile to come out. I was having a little bit of trouble fleshing out some characters and some scenery. I'm happy with the end product and hope you guys love it too. Before I said this won't go over ten chapters but from the way my brain is turning out ideas that may no longer be true. Who else wants to see a chapter where Y/n the Bloody Red Queen switches places with Y/n the maid? XD

Y/n growled under her breath as she stomped down the street her fists shoved deep into her pockets. The path in front of her parted like the red sea as people scurried to get out of her way. Y/n barely noticed as anger continued to boil inside her. 

What could cause our (somewhat/not really) heroine to act like this?

Why that’s simple. 

Her fight with Alphys had been postponed. 

(Earlier in the day)

Y/n was ready to put this dino in her place. She had held back earlier because she’d known the reason why Alphys had burst into her shop guns blazing. If there was one thing Y/n knew it was fights started over mistakes or misunderstandings never ended well. In her experience one person at least would either end up at the hospital or the morgue. 

This however was different. There were no misunderstandings. Alphys had challenged her, in her very own territory. Y/n knew that Alphys didn’t know what such a challenge to her authority usually entitled but she had a feeling the monster would have done it anyway. Only a select few ever challenged her and when they did it was usually with the knowledge that they may die. Before Y/n could enlighten the other of this fact Alphys’s phone began to ring a familiar tune filling the air. 

“Is that the theme song for Tokyo Ghoul?” Y/n asked feeling some of her anger turn into amusement. 

“Shut it you cunt!” Alphys hissed before grabbing her phone, “Hello? Yes, your Majesty I found Chara. No they’re alright. It was a false alarm. No sir. Yes sir, right away sir.”

When she was done Alphys hung up her phone before turning her back on Y/n.

“Sans! Grab Chara and let’s go. His Majesty just called and he wants us back at the house ten minutes ago!” Alphys barked already marching towards the door. 

“ON IT!” Sans shouted before running over and hoisting Chara onto his shoulder.

“Good looks like you’ll live to see another day human, don’t think this will end here though. You and I are going to have that match and when I win you’re going to become my little servant girl and obey all my orders understand?” Alphys sneered as she looked at Y/n once more. 

“You must be crazy if you think that’s going to happen. Then again I’m not the one running with her tail between her legs,” Y/n shot back pleased when she received a growl for her efforts, “And you bet we’re going to have that match and when I win well….I’ll make you wish you hadn’t left the underground.”

“We’ll see,” Alphys said before finally walking out of the building Sans hot on her heels.   
“See you at school tomorrow Chara I’ll bring your stuff,” Lily called after the trio as they left. 

Once the group could no longer be seen Y/n huffed. There was still a good amount of anger lingering in her body. Anger that she knew could be dangerous if it wasn’t dealt with. Which meant one thing. Turning to the stairs Y/n began stomping up them. She paused only to order the member of her group (that all had forgotten was still in the room, including her) to clean up the place before closing it for the day. 

“You always seem to get yourself into these weird situations don’t you sis,” Lily commented as she followed Y/n into the small apartment. 

“Hey I’d like to point out that I wasn’t the one who started this whole mess,” Y/n replied gruffly as she headed straight for her bedroom. 

“Sure it’s not like you just walked off with the monster ambassador without informing one of their legal guardians where they were,” Lily said sarcastically. 

“And it’s not like I told you guys to call someone before you started doing your homework,” Y/n said giving her younger sister a pointed stare. 

“Touche. So when should I expect you home tonight?” Lily asked. 

Y/n sighed as she stripped out of her clothes pulling out something she was more comfortable getting blood on. It wasn’t unusual for her to run off at random hours to go let off steam. When she was younger she had spent very little time at home. Instead she would spend hours roaming the streets looking for her next fight. After Lily was born Y/n did her best to curb that anger. It had worked for the most part. It was just these few rare times when leaving was the better option then staying at home. 

“I don’t know but I shouldn’t be out too late. Lock the doors, I’ll get a few guys to watch the place, eat something other then chips for dinner, and don’t stay up too late,” Y/n said as she grabbed her jacket.

“Yeah yeah yeah,” Lily said rolling her eyes, “By the way there’s a PTA meeting this week.”

“Ugh! Seriously?! We just had one last month,” Y/n complained. 

“Well duh they’re kind of a monthly thing. By the way I already told my teacher you were coming.”

“Do I have too?” Y/n whined. 

PTA meetings were just an excuse for parents to get together and complain. Lunches are too expensive. Classes are too crowded. Monster want to go to school like everyone else. Y/n usually skipped out on them as often as she could. 

“Who’s supposed to be the adult here?” Lily asked with a deadpan expression.

“Fine! For you my dearest sister I shall swallow my pride and go,” Y/n said draping herself over Lily, “But if Helen tries to force those lemon bars on me I’m going to throw her out a window.”

“Yeah yeah now leave so I can have some peace and quiet,” The words themselves were cruel but there was no real heat behind them. 

Y/n only smiled wrapping her arms around Lily and squeezing tightly before laying a giant wet kiss on her hair. Her actions were rewarded with a loud groan followed by numerous swats as Lily chased her out of the door. Glancing back her anger was pushed to the side as she spotted the smile on her sister’s face. 

“I’ll be back later!” Y/n called as she walked down the steps.

“Don’t bother coming back!”

A small chuckle left her mouth at Lily’s response. If everything went well and she found someone to “help” her work out her anger, then she would be back within the hour. With that in mind Y/n had set out.

-

Cursing her foolishness Y/n continued stomping through the city. That had been FOUR hours ago. Tonight seemed to be the one night where everything was peaceful. Which was good for everyone but her. Growling under her breath Y/n pulled out her phone and debated calling her boys for a late night training session. After a moment though she threw out that idea. It was late and most of her guys worked odd jobs, so even if she called them it was doubtful that anyone would be available. 

She was considering the option of finding one of those 24hr gyms when something struck her. Glancing up from her phone Y/n surveyed the area around her. Although it had gotten darker there were still plenty of people out. Well more monsters then people. Somehow, in all her anger and ramblings, she had managed to wander into the monster district.

Normally this wouldn’t be a problem. There was no distinct law that said humans had to stay out of the monster side of town. Or vice versa. Right now though Y/n was practically radiating death to anyone who dared approach her. Which had earned her more then a few wary glances. As strong as she was, Y/n doubted she could take on a whole district of monsters if they decided to do something about her. So she did the only logical thing she could think of.

Y/n chose a random door and yanked it open. 

The sight that greeted her was an odd one. It was obvious that she’d walked into a bar but it was the strangest/coolest one she’d ever been too. Cobwebs hung from the rafters in surprising quantities while monsters lined the booths and tables around her. There was an obvious gothic theme to the place that seemed oddly fitting when one took in the monster behind the bar. 

Watching her every movement with all eight of her eyes was a spider monster. Her clothes were a mixture of gothic lolita and a lounge singer. Her hair fell over her shoulders in waves giving the monster an alluring appearance. If one looked past the sharp fangs and claws they would swear they were looking at one of the most enchanting creatures on earth. Which was probably the whole point. 

(Note: I know that some people will say that this isn’t swapfell’s version of Muffet but after some research into the subject I couldn’t find any good pictures to use as reference. So here is my version hope it’s alright)

Y/n could feel every eye in the bar on her as she stood in the doorway taking everything in. If she had been a lesser person the animosity in those stare would have sent her running. Y/ however wasn’t that kind of person. Instead of running she let the door fall shut behind her as she strode to the bar. The look on the spiders monsters face as she approached was a mix of amusement and wariness.

Y/n sensing the tension as she sat down did the one thing she was best at.

***ACT**

***FLIRT**

“Excuse me sweet thing I’m afraid I have to arrest you for theft, because you stole my heart the moment I saw you,” Y/n said with a wink and finger guns. 

There was silence for a moment before the monster before her started laughing. It was one of those laughs that could come across as sinister or cute depending on the situation. The tension seemed to ease which was good because Y/n was still slightly wound up.

“Ahuhuhuhuhu what an interesting human you are dearie, most would not be so bold as to flirt with a monster.” The spider remarked bringing a hand up to her mouth as she giggled. 

“Their loss. The name is Y/n. Y/n L/n,” Y/n said introducing herself.

“Muffet, charmed I’m sure,” Muffets eyes gleamed as she spoke.

“Of course, how someone wouldn’t be in your presence is hard to imagine,” Y/n said winking once more, “Now I have a question for you.”

“Oh? And what would that be dearie?” Muffet asked.

“Do you serve alcohol and food here?”

-

An hour later Papyrus found himself standing in front of a door leading to his one and only safe zone. Muffets. It seemed to be the one place he could escape for everything. Duties. Dealing with prejudice from humans. Counting the days until the kid decided to reset again. Pretending to be happy while hiding behind bad puns and an ever present smile. All of that melted away as he pushed the door open and was greeted by the familiar sight of spider webs. 

Normally he would have been greeted with a chorus of hellos and varying degrees of insults. When his arrival is met with silence Papryus glanced up hie eyes focusing the bar where a crowd of monsters has formed. Raising an eyebrow bone he wandered over to the group only to pause midway when he hears a familiar voice shout over the crowd. 

“Bring me another Muffsy!” The voice shouted accompanied with cheers from the monsters,”I’m not stopping until I drop!”

Edging closer Papyrus peered over a few monsters to see Y/n sitting at the bar chugging a mug of beer. From her flushed cheeks and slightly swaying body he can tell it’s not her first. As he watches she finishes the drink before slamming it down on the bar. As Muffet took the empty mug Y/n turned to the large rabbit monster sitting next to her. As Papyrus watched the two slammed their arms down on the bar before locking their hands together. As the monsters around him cheered the two began throwing their strength into their arms. For a second it seemed as if they were deadlocked until Y/n growled and slammed the monsters hand down on the bar. Another cheer ripples through the crowd as Muffet hands the victorious Y/n another drink, which she quickly downed.

“Well, well it’s nice that someone appreciates my work around here,” Muffet giggled the noise sending shivers down the spines of every monster present. 

“Damn right! I haven’t had beer this good in a long time! You tell me if anyone says it’s anything but, Muffsy and I’ll kick their ass for you!” Y/n proclaimed loudly slamming her fist down on the bar. 

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that dearie,” Muffet smirked reaching over to pat Y/n on the head.

Y/n preened at the attention rubbing her head against Muffets hand. It reminded Papyrus of how a cat or dog would act. It was both funny and horrifying to watch at the same time. Funny in that the person he’d just seen take on a member of the royal guard was now acting like a lovesick puppy. And horrifying in that fact that getting involved with Muffet was never a good idea. Which was saying something since Papyrus counted her among his few friends, and even he didn’t trust her. 

Deciding it would be better to get Y/n away before something happened (like Muffet tricking Y/n into signing over everything she owned) Papyrus made his way through the crowd. Y/n was in the process of lifting another mug to her mouth when he snatched it out of her hands. With a hiss she whirled on him, only to watch as he drained the whole thing. 

“What the hell Paps! That was mine!” Y/n growled.

“yup sure was but I think you’ve had enough,” Papyrus said setting the mug down once he was done. 

“Nuh uh! I’m still standing aren’t I?” Y/n said even as she swayed in her seat.

“well technically you’re sitting, I doubt you could stand right now,” Papryus drawled.

“Oh yeah! I’ll show you!” Y/n shouted before jumping to her feet swinging a fist at the skeleton in front of her. 

Or at least that was the idea. The moment Y/n stood up her knees buckled under her sending her flying in the direction her fist went. Which meant she fell right into Papyrus’s arms. He easily caught her chuckling when he noted how out of it she was. If this were a cartoon he had no doubt her eyes would have been replaced with giant swirls. A moment later she was out her head falling limp against his arm. 

“yeah you’ve had enough, let’s get you home,” Papyrus said sliding one arm around Y/n’s so he was supporting her weight, “put her drinks on my tab.”

“Ahuhuhuhuhu will do dearie. Make sure she does get home safe, I’d hate to lose such an interesting customer,” Muffet said her voice carrying a threat only he heard. 

Papyrus chose not to respond and simply walked out of the building. Once he was standing in the cool night air he considered his options. First off he had no idea where Y/n lived. Secondly he had no real way of getting her there even if he did. He’d taken someone who was drunk through his shortcuts before and it ended with him getting barfed on. (An experience he’d rather not go through again) There was also the fact that even if he did know where she lived, walking around town with an unconscious female screamed trouble. 

With limited options Papyrus was about to call in one of his favors when Y/n began to stir.

“Ugh...what’s goin on?” Y/n slurred still mostly drunk.

“not much doll, you drank a monster ton of alcohol and I’m taking you home,” Papyrus replied staring down at her in amusement. 

“Noooooooo don’t take me home. Lily gonna yell at me for gettin drunk again,” Y/n whined burying her face in his chest. 

“that so?”

“Mmhmm,” Y/n hummed in response.

“well whatcha want me to do then doll?” Papyrus asked.

Y/n seemed to actually think for a second before shrugging and nuzzling her face deeper into his shirt. Sighing lightly Papyrus started walking his grip tightening on Y/n’s shoulders when she whined. This whole situation was turning out to be a pain. Honestly he wanted to dump Y/n somewhere and call it good. The only problem with that was Sans.

His brother had grown attached to the human in a suprisingly short time. They’d spent nearly every day texting back and forth. Heck even he had received a few messages from Y/n after she’d weasled his number from Sans. So far nothing bad had come of it but Papyrus couldn’t help but feel a little apprehensive about the whole situation. The last time a human had fallen into their lives it had shaken everything he had known. Glancing at Y/n, who was nearly wrapped around him at this point, Papyrus got the feeling that she was going to shake things up even more. 

-

Y/n didn’t know where Papyrus was taking her but she didn’t really care. At this point her anger was gone and she was feeling better then she had in weeks. Which had been her goal when she’d walked into the bar. So basically: MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! The two received numerous stares as they walked down the dimly lit streets. Y/n ignored most of them took caught up in studying the skeleton who was the only thing keeping her upright. 

There was just something about the way his bones looked. 

Scratched but smooth. White but discolored in places. An overwhelming urge to touch his bones grew in her chest. Y/n was so entranced she didn’t realize her hand was already cupping his face until Papryus stopped to stare at her. 

“whatcha doin doll?” He asked glancing down at her.

With her mind addled by the affects of monster alcohol Y/n spouted the first words to come to mind. 

“Yer bones are so pretty.”

The orange blush that settled on the skeletons cheeks made her giggle. How did a skeleton turn orange in the first place?

“you really must be drunk doll if you’re finding this old bag of bones attractive,” Papyrus said huffing slightly in defeat.

“Oh I dunno bout that paps. I don have ta be a dog to know you look good enough ta eat,” Y/n replied slurring her words in a poor attempt to flirt. 

That had the orange growing brighter across his cheeks. Inwardly congratulating herself Y/n opened her mouth to say something along the lines “You taste as sweet as you look orange?” when someone bumped into her harshly. Bracing herself against Papyrus Y/n whipped around with a snarl.

“Hey watch where you’re going dumbass!” She yelled. 

“What’d you just say to me you little monster slut?” The guy who’d bumped into her snarled right back. 

“What you got dirt in your ears or somethin? I said watched where your fucking walking!” Y/n growled getting right in the man’s face.

The man reeled back in surprise before frowning. Three things happened next. One: The man went to swing at her. Two: Papyrus tried to pull her out of the way. And finally Y/n snapped. Shoving Papyrus aside she grabbed the man’s outstretched arm and broke it all in one move. As he howled in pain she swung her leg up between his legs causing him to gasp and shock and double over. Grabbing the man’s head Y/n brought it down on her knee rendering him unconscious. 

The whole thing happened in the blink of an eye. When it was over Y/n turned back to Papyrus who was watching her with an awe-struck expression. Something seemed to occur to him a moment later however as his face quickly changed into one of horror. Confused Y/n tried to think of what could possibly have scared him. Only she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of someone screaming and approaching sirens. Then out of nowhere she was snatched up in bony arms. 

“hold on doll,” Was all the warning she received before the world vanished around her. 

It felt like her entire body had been sucked into a bottomless pit. There was darkness everywhere as Y/n continued to fall. If it weren’t for the arms holding her she might have been freaking out more then she was. There were no words to describe how she was feeling. The closest she could come to was describing it as falling into a black hole.   
Then everything was back to normal. 

It took everything in her power not to throw up as everything in her stomach rose to the surface. She registered the feeling of being placed on a mattress, the smell of smoke assaulting her nose. Opening one eye (when had she closed them) Y/n peered at the concerned skeletal face peering at her. It took longer then she wanted to admit to recognize that he was speaking.

“you okay doll? i know the first time can be hard on most people,” Papryus said tho the words seemed muffled.

“What was that?”

“shortcut doll. you rest up i’m gonna go grab you some water,” Papryus answered. 

Y/n wanted to respond but found herself slipping away before she could. Awhile later she felt the feeling of a warm body pressing against her back. Rolling over Y/n quickly attached herself to the heat source sighing contently when boney appendages wrapped around her back. A deep voice hummed into her ear as she drifted back into the realm of dreams. 

“night y/n.”

The next morning Y/n woke to the sound of her phone going off, someone pounding on her door, and the odd feeling that something wasn’t right. Nausea welled in the pit of her stomach as she dragged on eye open. The sight of scarred ribs had her guessing who was lying in the bed with her. The pounding on the door, (accompanied with words she could barely make out over her headache), told her whose house she was in. And the shrill of her phone going off forced her hung over brain to recall the last time she’d gotten drunk and forgot to go home. 

Whimpering Y/n came to a very obvious conclusion. 

She was screwed. 

Knowing she was about to receive two of the longest lectures of her lives Y/n tried to prolong the inevitable by burying her head under the covers. This only seemed to amuse the skeleton, who she hadn’t realized was awake, as his body began shaking with suppressed laughter. Opening both eyes she glared at Papyrus, who only began to shake harder.

“sorry doll can’t really take you seriously with the way you’re _drooling_ over me,” The wink that accompanied his words made her scowl harder, “ then again what can you really do besides put me under ar- _rest_?”

She really hated Papyrus right now…. even if his puns were kind of funny. 

-

Papyrus didn’t know what to make of Y/n. Last night he had seen some of what she was capable of. He hadn’t seen such precise and smooth moves since they were underground. Then she had simply gone to cuddling him with the jerks blood still on her hands. It was a little disconcerning but at the same time it was really hot. Without his consent his soul started to hum with longing. He hid it well behind puns and a charming smile but in reality Papryus was a mess. How could a human be so dangerous and attractive at the same time? He wasn’t sure but he got the feeling Y/n would more then be around long enough for him to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it look forward to more Gang Leader Y/n. Here's a hint for the next chapter. Lily is not happy and has revenge in mind. LOL


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y/n faces the wrath of her sister! What PUN-ishment will she face when confronted with the true face of EVIL?!
> 
> Lily: Y/n what are you doing?
> 
> Y/n: Adding drama! And flare!
> 
> Lily: ...you're an idiot.

“Do you have any idea how worried I was?”

“I’m sorry.”

“I was up all night waiting for you to get home scared that something had happened to you!”

“I know I’m sorry.”

"I was sure that you’d hurt in a fight and I’d get a call from the hospitale saying you were dead or dying! Instead I get a call this morning from Sans saying you’re at their house hungover! What were you thinking?!”

Now if anyone else was watching the scene unfolding before them they might have laughed. Y/n was sitting on her knees, head bent, as Lily paced before. It was a position that she’d been in since the moment she’d set food inside their home. Lily hadn’t even given her any time to try and explain (or come up with an excuse) before she had pounced. Having gone through similar situations before Y/n had simply nodded along to everything her sister was saying. Or she had until Lily had asked that last question.

“Well…” Y/n trailed off refusing to meet her sister’s eyes.

“Well what?!” Lily demanded. 

“Well I wasn’t?” Y/n offered hesitantly.

“Of course why am I not surprised?!” Lily asked throwing her hands up in the air, “You hardly ever think! We run out of milk and you go out and buy a cow! I say a boy called me a name at school and you go threaten his entire family! Not to mention the time you decided it would be cool to sign us up for diving lessons when you can’t swim!”

“That’s not really fair,” Y/n pouted, “I only bought the cow because you said you liked animals.”

The look Lily shot her was one that she hadn’t seen in awhile. It was a look that promised the recipient would not only burn in hell but they would also suffer for a thousand lifetimes after. Ducking her head meekly Y/n watched as her sister screamed into a nearby pillow. Honestly she felt bad for being the reason Lily was so worked up. She knew her sister deserved a better childhood then the one she’d had so far. If Y/n could she’d give up everything so Lily would always be happy. 

In the world they lived in however that was nothing more then a fantasy. 

Getting up Y/n walked over to Lily and pulled her into a tight hug against her chest. Maybe she couldn’t guarantee that everyday would be happy for his sister, but she could damn well gurantee that she would try to make it that way.

“Look Lils I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been so stupid. I swear next time I’ll call. Even if I’m drunker then shit I’ll call or have someone bring me home I promise k?” Y/n said while Lily continued to pout.

“You say that now but what if something happens? What if you don’t come back one day?” Lily asked in a small unsure voice.

“Listen Lily I swear I’d do anything to get back to you. I’d even take on a thousand demons and crawl from the depths of hell to keep my promise.” Y/n replied loosening her hold so Lily could turn around. 

“......you swear?”

“I swear on my name, I’ll do everything I can to keep my promise and come home,” Y/n answered without hesitation. 

They stayed like that for a moment before Lily finally broke away. Y/n could see the wetness in her younger sisters eyes no matter how much she tried to hide it behind a stern look. She had scared her sister and was ready for whatever punishment Lily had in mind. 

“This doesn’t mean you’re off the hook,” Lily said almost as if she’d been reading Y/n’s mind. 

“I figured as much. Alright lay it on me squirt. I can take whatever you’re gonna dish out.”

A week later Y/n would come to regret those words ever left her mouth. 

“How did I let you talk me into this?” Y/n asked staring at the building in front of her with despair.

“You said you could take whatever I could dish out. This is really your own fault,” Lily replied standing off to her sisters side.

“I didn’t think you’d pull something like this,” Y/n muttered under her breath.

“You really shouldn’t underestimate me Y/n. I grew up watching you after all.”

Y/n had nothing to say to that. Lily, feeling satisfied that she’d won this round, walked up to the doors of the school before turning to glare at her sister. Getting the hint Y/n followed after her reluctantly as the feeling of fabric brushing against her bare legs caused her misery to grow. If there was one thing she could admit it was the fact that Lily was incredible at coming up with punishments. Who else would think of forcing her to wear a hot pink skirt and matching heels? (At least Lily had been somewhat merciful and let her wear a leather jacket)

Yes. You heard right. The Bloody Queen. Feared by all, worshipped by many, and afraid of few...was wearing a skirt and heels…..

Any other time she would have killed anyone who saw her like this. Lucky for them, the second half of Lily’s punishment was already in affect. Not only did she have to wear the pink nightmare, Y/n also had to play nice for the entire day. Which meant not killing everyone who stared at her as she stamped after her sister. 

“You really are cruel you know that,” Y/n informed her sister as they reached their destination.

“I know and I hope you remember it next time you decided to worry me so much,” Lily answered without looking back, “Now remember-”

“I know, I know. Be nice. Don’t start fights. Refrain from calling Helen out on her bullshit,” Y/n recited rolling her eyes, “I can’t believe you’re making me be nice to that witch. She’s half the reason I hate coming to these things.”

“Uh huh, just go in and keep your mouth shut. I’ll be in the library getting caught up on a project,” Lily said.

Y/n groaned under her breath before approaching the door. She knew that behind the door laid a creature so horrifying, so nasty, so cruel that satan himself would run at their shadow. A shudder ran down her spine as Y/n took her hand off the door and turned to face her sister. Lily, who had been watching in case Y/n bolted, blinked in shock at the serious look her older sister now wore. 

“Lily.”

“What?” She asked as Y/n reached out to clasp her hands on the younger girls shoulders.

“I need you to promise me something.”

“What?” Okay now Lily was getting freaked out, the only other time Y/n had acted like this was when…

“If I don’t make it back alive delete my browser history,” Y/n interrupted causing Lily’s train of thought to come to a screeching halt.

“Really?” Lily sighed in exasperation. 

“I’m serious Lils, the world isn’t ready for that. You have to promise me you’ll do this!”

“Oh my god. Fine I promise now stop acting like an idiot and go be an adult!” Lily growled forcibly turning her sister and shoving her at the door.

“Whateva ya say boss!” Y/n replied doing her best goon impression. 

Lily only huffed before ripping the door open and shoving her inside. Y/n only had a moment to enjoy herself before the door closed and a familiar feeling settled over her. A long forgotten instinct reared its head as Y/n straightend and turned around. It was the instinct an animal would get when their natural enemy wanders into their territory. The instinct to fight or be consumed. 

“Well hello Y/n how wonderful for you to put aside your _busy_ schedule and show up today,” A nasally voice said. 

“It’s nice to see you too Helen,” Y/n replied narrowing her eyes at the woman. 

From her dried out over-dyed blond strands of hair to the fake tan and tacky clothes, Helen was everything Y/n resented. Rumor was that Helen had landed her current husband (This being her third) by tearing down his former wife's reputation and spreading her legs despite the fact he was married. Y/n had no doubt Helen had done just that. She was a gold-digger, home wrecker, and all around bitch. When monsters had first come to the surface you can bet Helen was up there in the front row calling for them to be sent right back. If it weren’t for her input at the last parent teachers conference last year Helen would have made it impossible for monster kids to enroll. 

Needless to say Y/n hated her very existence. 

Unfortunately she had no choice but to play nice today. 

“If you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go grab some snacks and a seat before the meeting starts,” Y/n said trying to escape the temptation to just let loose on the woman. 

“Of please go right ahead I’m sure it’s been awhile since you’ve had anything homemade,” Helen shot back letting out what she probably thought was a cute giggle (it reminded Y/n more of a donkey hee-hawing).

_‘Keep it together Y/n don’t bark back.’_

“I mean I’m not one to make assumptions but it doesn’t seem like you’d be able to handle anything that wasn’t a bat or a crowbar,” Helen continued causing Y/n to grit her teeth.

 _‘Oh bitch you have no idea I’ll show you how well I can use a bat.’_ Y/n thought.

“But I mean what can you expect from someone who grew up with a mother who-” Helen started to say.

Y/n knew that she was going to swing at the woman in front of her before she could even finish her sentence. There were many things she could tolerate from Helen for Lily’s sake. This was not one of them. Her mother (or the woman who had once claimed that title) was a taboo subject, especially with Lily around. Helen was either stupid or believed being the wife of the school board chairman would save her. Either way Y/n was two seconds away from smashing in Helen’s fake ass face. 

Thankfully someone intervened before she could.

(Thankfully because she didn’t want to endure a second punishment from her sister even if it meant finally putting Helen in her place)

“Excuse me, sorry to interrupt but are we going to be starting soon?” The speakers voice reminded Y/n of a rock slide, a deep crushing growl that sent shivers down her spine. 

Both women turned to look at the owner of the voice. Helen glared while Y/n cocked an eyebrow. She was not expecting the owner of the voice to be a large humanoid goat. He was tall, taller then anyone she’d met (excluding Papyrus), and had rich dark fur that was covered by a set of pale lavender robes. Across his chest was the familiar delta rune that many monsters were seen wearing.The only contrast to the dark and gloomy colors were the pops of bright yellow that could be found in his beard and the hair framing his face. There was something almost fatherly about him that Y/n noticed right away. It didn’t distract her however from the thinly veiled hostility in his eyes. Something she was glad wasn’t directed at her but Helen. 

“Oh hello Asgore,” Helen grit out her eyes narrowing at the monster, “I’m glad you could make it.”

“As am I although I am sad to say I almost missed today’s meeting. You see the printout I got had the wrong date on it. It said the meeting was scheduled for tomorrow not today. Thankfully a friend of my child informed us of the mistake,” Asgore (Now why did that name sound familiar?) said a rueful smile settling across his cheeks. 

“Now wouldn’t that have been horrible, I’ll double check the printouts next time,” Helen said her mouth stretching in an unconvincing smile, “If you’ll excuse me however I have to go start the meeting.”

The two watched silently as Helen stiffly walked away. To Y/n it looked like all the years of shooting plastic into her face had caught up. Chuckling softly at the thought she turned back to her silent companion, noticing for the first time that his attention was now on her. 

“Care to share what you find so amusing?” He asked in his rumbling voice.

“Just picturing Helen just falling apart like an old barbie doll,” Y/n replied honestly guessing that he might not get the reference. 

“Ah I see, that is quite the amusing thought,” Asgore commented looking thoughtful, “You could say she’s just as cold, hard, and toxic as the material she’s made from.”

“Ouch you got some cream for that sick burn goat man?” Y/n asked nudging him playfully as a smile drew across his face. 

“I’m glad you found my small joke amusing, I’m afraid we did not get to introduce ourselves. The name is Asgore Dreemurr at your service,” Asgore said dipping his head in a slight bow.

“Well nice to meet ya Mr. Dreemurr the name’s-,” Y/n started to say only to be cut off.

“Y/n! If you don’t mind some of us would like to begin this meeting,” Helen called out her voice lofty with distain.

“You heard the lady,” Y/n said with a smirk ignoring Helen entirely, “The name’s Y/n and I KID you not I may seem BAA-d but I’ve GOAT a great personality.”

A couple of the parents groaned at her puns, some snickered quietly, and Helen looked as if she were going to blow a gasket. Asgore began to chuckle bringing a paw up to muffle the sound as Y/n shot him a wink and some finger guns. 

Something told Y/n that this day wasn’t going to be as terrible as she thought. 

-

The meeting went as expected. Which meant it was long and BORING! If it weren’t for her cool new goat friend Y/n would have spent the entire meeting munching on snacks and browsing Tumblr. Thankfully Asgore was more then willing to distract her from the sleep inducing boredom of the meeting. At first they traded jokes and puns both trying to outdo the other. They might have continued in that fashion for the entire meeting if it weren’t for the looks Helen and her cronies were shooting in their direction. After that they made an effort (Ha!) to pay attention to the meeting. Y/n tuned most of it out finally letting her head fall to the table when she couldn’t force herself to focus anymore. 

“Is something the matter my child?” Asgore asked when she didn’t raise her head.

“Are all PTA meetings this long?” Y/n groaned without raising her head. 

“As far as I am aware, haven’t you been to these meetings before?” Asgore asked confused.

“Oh don’t get me wrong I always come to these, but I usually don’t make it past the first fifteen minutes before I end up leaving or get kicked out,” Y/n replied with a shrug.

“Kicked out?” Asgore mimicked.

Y/n nodded smirking slightly as she thought over all the great lines she’d used against Helen over the past couple months, “Mmhmm, you might not have noticed, since I’m supposed to be on my “best behavior” today, but I have a tendency to run my mouth without a filter. 

“Oh how so?” 

“Well for example last time-,” Y/n started to say.

The sound of someone clearing their throat cut her off before she could say anything else. Both turned towards the source of the sound, neither surprised to find Helen glaring at them. Or the fact that everyone’s attention was on them as well. 

“While I am glad you two are getting along, some of us are here to discuss some very important matters,” Helen huffed crossing her arms in an attempt to appear more intimidating. 

“Really Helen?” Y/n asked raising an eyebrow, “So talking about a bake sale that we have every other month is what you consider important? Or were you trying to suggesting another school trip idea that all the kids are sure to hate and complain about?”

“How dare you?! Who do you think you are?!” Helen roared slamming her hands down on the table. 

“Me? Oh you know just someone who is trying to get through this life without having to spread my legs. You know like you did since you have no other skills or talents? Honestly I feel sorry for you Helen, mostly because the only way you know how to get through life is by tearing down someone else to make yourself feel better,” By the time Y/n was done talking Helen’s face was a bright red. 

There was silence for a moment. The other parents in the room where stuck between watching Helen’s face turn an even darker red, to staring at Y/n as she opened her mouth to let out a long drawn out yawn. It was as if they were watching two the aftermath of a horrendous battle. One where both sides knew who the winner would be before it even started. Which is why it came as no surprise when Helen shattered the silence with her voice. 

**“GET OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW YOU GUTTER RAT!”**

“You sure? We still have so many “important” things to talk about,” Y/n said her voice peppered with feigned innocence.

**“GET OUT!”**

“Alright, alright keep your panties on,” Y/n replied standing up, “You coming goat man? I know a cafe nearby that serves some of the worlds best pastries.”

“That sounds quite delightful my child,” Asgore said standing as well chuckling, “It will be much more pleasant then staying here and listening to a banshee screech.”

**“HOW DARE YOU!”**

“OOh nice one big guy. Anyway see all at the next meeting,” Y/n winked before turning to follow Asgore out the door. 

Helen yelled something after them, it went along the lines of: “YOU’LL BE HEARING FROM MY LAWYER!” or something like that. Y/n didn’t really care. With the door slammed shut behind her Y/n let out a small sigh before turning to look up at Asgore. A small smirk spread across her lips. 

“And that was a prime example of how I usually get kicked out of those meetings,” She said.

“Indeed, it was quite amusing my child,” Asgore chuckled as they began moving down the hall. 

“Not to sound rude but I’m no kid, haven’t been one for awhile,” Y/n said.

“Well when you have lived as long as I have everyone is a child, even the ones who pretend they are not,” Asgore replied with a gleaming look in his eyes. 

Y/n almost stopped as the meaning behind his words registered with her. Narrowing her eyes she looked over the monster before her. Y/n prided herself on the fact that not many people could get a true reading on her feelings. She allowed others to see only what was on the surface, for someone to see past that spoke thousands about the person she’d just met. After thinking about it for a second Y/n decided not to confront the other.

“I guess you have a point, though that makes you sound old as dirt,” Y/n teased.

Asgore only chuckled allowing her the escape. It was only when they were near the end of the hall that Y/n remembered something. Something that sent shivers of fear down her spine. As she froze in place Y/n swore she could hear the sound of the gates of hell opening behind her. 

“Oh shit,” She whispered. 

“Something wrong?” Asgore asked confused when she stopped in her tracks. 

“If you count my imminent demise as something wrong then yeah somethings wrong,” Y/n groaned, “My sister is going to kill me.”

“It cannot be that bad.”

“Yeah no you’re right. It’s even worse,” Y/n whimpered.

Sure enough when Y/n and Asgore met up with Lily and Chara it was not a pretty sight. Lily scolded her older sister for a good ten minutes while the other two watched on with amusement. In the end she forced Y/n to take them all out for cookies and ice cream. It was only as they all sat down that Asgore brought up something that had been on his mind for awhile. 

“Mrs. Y/n I have a question for you,” He stated.

Y/n, who had been trying to steal bites of ice cream from her sister, looked up with a raised eyebrow at the sudden formalities. 

“What’s that big guy?” She asked.

“I am curious why someone such as you would so carelessly throw yourself into danger as you have,” Asgore said his eyes fixed on hers.

“What you mean that thing with Helen? She’s no danger to me,” Y/n replied.

“You misunderstand me,” Asgore spoke up, “I am refering to the incident with my child. How you took them without considering the consequences.”

“Oh shoot that’s right. Sorry bout that big guy I swear I told Chara to call someone, next time I’ll have them do it before we leave the school.”

“Next time?” Asgore repeated.

“Well yeah, this one,” Y/n paused her to give her sister a noogie, “Seems to be good friends with Chara and I assume we’ll be seeing alot of each other in the future. Isn’t that right Lils?”

“Get off me you oaf!” Lily grumbled still protecting her bowl.

“I see, not many would be willing to align themselves with monsters so easily. Especially not with the former king,” Asgore said after a moment of watching the two. 

“Wait say what?” Y/n blinked all her movements coming to a halt, “You’re a king?”

“Former King dummy,” Lily answered rolling her eyes at her sisters shocked expression, “Don’t tell me you didn’t know that. Next you’ll be saying you didn’t know Chara is the Monster Ambassador when you practically kidnapped her.”

Y/n’s answer could be heard throughout the entire city. 

**“WHAT!? I KIDNAPPED THE MONSTER AMBASSADOR?!”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had some trouble writing Swapfell Asgore. You would not believe the lack of information when it comes to this au. Anyway I see him as less crazy after they reach the surface but still able to make you feel as if you've done something wrong just by being near him. You know like a dad would. And yeah I know this got a little dialogue heavy but I hope it's not too much. >< why writing gotta be so hard?! And hey you guys think I was being too harsh to Helen?


	5. Valentines Special Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this the revised version of the Valentines Day Special that I posted awhile back. I didn't like it so I rewrote it. Hope you guys like it XD ... There is a catch though. This is only the first part of the special. I was going to wait to post it until I had both brothers dates done but well...it got kind of long so I decided to post it in two chapters. Look forward to the next one and let me know what you guys think.

“You want me to do what?” Y/n asked staring at her younger sister.

“I want you to ask both Sans and Papyrus out on a date for Valentines Day,” Lily replied crossing her arms as Chara giggled behind her. 

Y/n had forgotten that Valentine's Day was coming up. With everything that had been going on for the last couple days and the fact she cared little for the holiday, it was easy to forget it even existed. After all finding out that the kid your sister had become best friends with as the Monster Ambassador, and that their dad was the former King of Monsters, would shock anyone. Thankfully Asgore and Chara had found the whole thing funny, instead of being offended like she’d assumed they’d be. In fact Asgore had invited them over for dinner sometime in the future, something Y/n knew she wouldn’t be able to get out of. 

Anyway back to the matter at hand. 

“Why would I ask them out on dates for Valentines day? You know I don’t celebrate it,” Y/n sighed setting aside the bowl of noodles she’d been eating before the two interrupted her. 

The most she ever did was get a giant box of chocolates for her sister. Or give the members of her gang the day off so they could spend it with loved ones. 

“Because you owe me one for getting kicked out of another PTA meeting when you were supposed to be good,” Lily replied rolling her eyes as if it were supposed to be obvious. 

**And because it would make my uncles happy if you did** , Chara signed a bright smile on their face. 

“Besides when was the last time you went on a date Y/n? It’ll be good for you too because otherwise you’re gonna turn into one of those old ladies with a hundred cats,” Lily chimed in.

“Wow thanks for the vote of confidence Lils,” Y/n said in a deadpan tone, “My love life is fine the way it is, besides who’s the big sister here?”

“Sometimes I wonder,” Lily responded causing Chara to giggle again. 

“What is it going to take for you two to leave me alone?” Y/n asked with a long suffering sigh.

 **Agree to take both of uncles on a date and we’ll leave you alone** , Chara signed with a sly look on their face, **Otherwise we’ll just get them to do it.**

Blinking down at the child that was threatening her, Y/n couldn’t help but laugh at the mental image. Sans she was sure would go out of his way asking her out. She could see it already. Sans would show up with a bunch of roses, wearing a white tuxedo and acting like he was doing her a giant favor before dragging her away with him. 

“HUMAN YOU WILL ACCOMPANY ME ON THIS DAY OF ROMANCE AND HUMAN EMOTION. OF COURSE YOU MUST BE THRILLED THAT SOMEONE SUCH AS ME HAS DECIDED TO TAKE TIME OUT OF MY BUSY SCHEDULE TO INDULGE YOUR HUMAN WAYS!”

Papyrus on the other hand would be the complete opposite. Y/n could see him showing up dressed in his usual stained hoodie, cigarette hanging out of his mouth, (something Y/n was still confused on how he was able to do that) with a bunch of flowers he stole from someone's garden. Maybe a bag of chocolates that he found on sale. 

“heya doll, heard today was some kind of valentines day. so what do you think? wanna be my SWEET valentine?”

Y/n snickered at her thoughts before realizing that Lily and Chara were still in the room. Putting on an exasperated expression she acted like if she really had to think about it. 

“You guys drives a hard bargain but I guess I don’t really have a choice now, do I?” Y/n asked turning to look at the two who were now wearing identical mischievous looks. 

“Nope.” **Nope.**

“Fine. I know when I’m beaten,” Y/n said dramatically, “I will ask Sans and Papyrus on a *shudder* date.”

Lily rolled her eyes at Y/n theatrics while Chara cheered silently in the background. Y/n only smiled and bowed before reaching for her nearly forgotten bowl of ramen. Before her fingers could touch the bowl however two sets of arms had grabbed her.

“Come on there’s no time to waste, we have to plan how you’re going to ask them out,” Lily said as they slowly dragged her away.

“But but my ramen!” Y/n cried reaching for the bowl that was slowly getting out of her reach. 

**You can have some later. Right now we have to plan** , Chara signed

“NOOOO! I’LL COME BACK FOR YOU MY LOVE!” Y/n called to the bowl as they finally succeeded in dragging her out of the room. 

She never did get to finish her ramen. 

-

Y/n had never really understood the appeal of Valentines day. She spent nearly all of her youth doing whatever it took to survive. There had been no time for romance or anything else. Which was why Y/n was currently debating whether or not she should go through with her plan. Y/n knew there were only two ways this day was ending. With her getting to spend some quality time with her favorite bone boys, or everything coming apart at the seams in a explosion of hell fire. 

She wasn’t quite sure which option sounded better at the moment. 

In all honesty her plan was a simple one despite Lily and Chara’s best efforts to get her to reconsider. Y/n was going to show up and whisk away each skeleton for a couple hours of fun and cheesy valentines cliches. That last part wasn’t her idea but Y/n had to give her sister something, seeing as she refused to wear the outfit they chose. (Just thinking of the pink monstrosity made her shudder) Which would explain why she was now clutching a bouquet of roses to her chest while decked out in all her biker gear. 

Glancing at a nearby clock Y/n let out a deep breath before climbing onto her bike. It was now or never. Flipping down her visor she revved her engine before taking off. Rounding a few corners Y/n kept her eyes peeled for her target, smirking slightly when she spotted Sans and Alphys walking out of a small cafe.

 _‘Right on time,’_ Y/n thought as she drew closer to the pair. 

Sans had let it slip a couple days ago (while he was bragging about his accomplishments over the phone) that he and Alphys always stopped by a certain cafe every morning after their workout. The owner was a close friend of Sans from the underground that went by the name of Grillby and almost always gave them a discount. Seeing the perfect opportunity to put her plan in action,while annoying Alphys at the same time, had been too good to pass up. 

The pair was arguing as Y/n drove onto the sidewalk and cut them off their current route. It was obvious that neither monster was pleased by her actions. 

“Hey what’s the big idea jerk!? Get out of our way before I make you!” Alphys threatened her claws tightening around the coffee cup in her grip. 

“YOU WOULD BE SMART TO LISTEN TO HER HUMAN,” Sans chimed in looking at his hand boredly, “IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO GET MY HANDS DIRTY DEALING WITH THE LIKES OF YOU.”

“Awww and here I thought we were cool Sans,” Y/n teased reaching up to flip open her visor. 

“H-HUMAN QUEEN?!” Sans stuttered his facade dropping in surprise. 

“The one and only. Nice to see you Alphys, been a while since I last saw you. You know after you bailed on our fight?” Y/n winked at the skeleton before turning towards the other monster.

“Your lucky I had to leave human, otherwise your sister would have had to watch as I pounded you into dust,” Alphys shot back with a growl. 

“Sure you say that now after you ran off,” Y/n teased watching as Alphys scales began to turn red, “As much fun as this is though I’m not here just to antagonize you.”

“Oh yeah? What are you here for then?”Alphys grunted suspiciously.

“Oh, just for this,” Y/n said before climbing off her bike the bouquet in her hands once more as she stored over to kneel in front of Sans, “Sans Serif Skeleton? Would you do me the greatest honor of accepting these flowers and being one of my Valentines today?

To say the monster was stunned would be an understatement. San’s faces was now a mess of bright purple (which is how he blushed Y/n guessed) as he stared down at her. At his side Alphys was watching the whole thing equally stunned. Y/n knew they were getting more then a few strange looks from people passing by, but she didn’t care. All her nervousness from earlier had vanished leaving behind only satisfaction at getting the great and terrible Sans to blush. 

“Well? Do you accept?” Y/n asked after a moment wiggling the bouquet at the skellie. 

Thankfully Sans was a quick recovery.

“WHILE I AM NOT USUALLY ONE TO ACCEPT SUCH A TRULY BRAZEN REQUEST FROM SOMEONE SO BENEATH ME I CAN SEE IN YOUR EYES HOW TRULY DEVASTATED YOU WOULD BE IF I WERE TO REFUSE YOU! SO HUMAN QUEEN I ACCEPT YOUR UNWORTHY SUIT AND AGREE TO BE YOUR V-VALENTINES,” Sans announced crossing his arms in an attempt to look stern despite the ever present blush on his face. 

“Aww you do me such an honor,” Y/n replied standing back up as Sans took the flowers from her, “To have someone so incredible be my Valentine makes me feel so blessed.”

“O-OF COURSE YOU WOULD FEEL THAT WAY!” Sans yelled though his blush now covered most of his head. 

“What the fuck?” Alphys muttered still in shock. 

“Oh Alphys forgot you were here, not that it matters I’ve finished my business so we’ll just be taking our leave,” Y/n said with a sly grin. 

“Wait what?”

Before the other monster could react Y/n grabbed Sans by the arm and dragged him over to her bike. Sliding a spare helmet onto his head she winked before pulling him onto the bike behind her. The sound of Y/n revving the engine shocked the dino out of her confusion. 

“Hold on,” Y/n said as to Sans as Alphys rushed to grab them. 

A pair of bony arms wrapped around her midsection was Y/n took off. She swore she felt the tip of a claw brush her, but that could have just been her imagination. What wasn’t was the curses Y/n could hear Alphys hurling after them as she sped down the street. Y/n had always loved riding on her bike, the feeling of speeding down the road with the wind rushing past her face was addicting. It seems as if Sans didn’t share the sentiment from how deeply he was pressing his face into her back. 

“You okay back there?” Y/n called over the roar of the engine. 

“F-FINE!” Sans called back though his tightening grip said otherwise. 

Taking pity on the poor skeleton Y/n cut her speed until they were just under the speed limit. Thankfully they weren’t to far from their destination so Y/n was too put out. The area they were in was filled with couples and families, all of whom looked to be enjoying themselves. As the stopped for a red light she felt Sans unbury his head and looked around. It was obvious he was looking for a reason they were there from the way he kept shifting around. Allowing a small smirk to settle across her face Y/n drove around the crowds until they came to a stop in front of a huge building. 

“Well here we are what do you think?” Y/n asked cutting off the engine. 

“WHERE ARE WE?” Sans asked in return as she climbed off the bike. 

“Well I figured you wouldn’t be too much into the classic gooey Valentines Day activities so I had to get a little creative. Welcome to Laser Zone,” Y/n answered.

“YOU KIDNAPPED ME TO COME PLAY LASER TAG?” The disbelieving tone is Sans voice was unexpected thought it did hurt just a twinge. 

“Well there’s that and the fact the owners are hosting a huge Valentines Day tournament for couples. First place is eight free passes for a year. I thought you know, you might like it seeing as you get to run around shooting people with lasers,” Y/n finished lamely.

Some of her nerves had come back as Y/n waited for his response. Going to play laser tag wasn’t the first thing people thought of when it came to dates. Honestly Y/n had almost written it off as too childish until she’d read about the tournament. It seemed like it would be right up Sans alley, but there was always the chance that he would hate the idea. Maybe he would have preferred going to a fancy restaurant? Maybe something simple like a movie would have been a better idea. 

“WELL I SUPPOSE I CAN INDULGE YOU THIS ONCE HUMAN,” Sans said breaking through Y/n's thoughts, “B-BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU WENT TO SUCH GREAT LENGTHS TO FIND SUCH AN ACTIVITY TO TRY AND IMPRESS ME.”

Letting out an inner sigh of relief Y/n grinned, “Of course if there’s one thing I know how to do besides fight, it’s play laser tag. Now come on registration is going to end soon.”

With that Y/n grabbed San’s arm and dragged him through the glass doors. The inside of the building didn’t look that much different from the outside with the same brick pattern that could be seen everywhere you looked. A handful of windows were spaced in between the few arcade machines that were littered throughout the lobby area. The room itself seemed to give off a rundown warehouse feeling to it. Y/n, however knew better then to take the place by face value. 

“It might not look like much out here, but that’s because they put all their money into building one of the best laser tag courses this side of the state,” Y/n leaned down to whisper to Sans as his eyes swept over the room. 

“I SHOULD HOPE SO, BECAUSE OTHERWISE YOU ARE FAILING MISERABLY AT IMPRESSING ME HUMAN QUEEN,” Sans replied crossing his arms as he looked up at her. 

“I promise if it doesn’t live up to your expectations then I will gladly submit to whatever punishment you wish,” Y/n said before winking, “I will have you know I’m partial to handcuffs and chains.”

Y/n felt some pride as the blush returned to San’s face as she dragged him through the crowd of people. There were more then a few who threw them dirty looks but Y/n ignored them. When they reached the front of the crowd Y/n wasted no time in marching up to the counter with a giant grin on her face. 

“Hey how’s it going?” Y/n asked without meaning a word, “Me and my VERTE-bae are here to sign up for the Couples Tournament.”

Y/n grin grew as the cashier, who hadn’t been paying attention, turned to face her with a matching grin of his own. 

“Well well Satan had better get his coat and boots because I think hell just froze over,” He teased his eyes glittering in amusement as they darted between Y/n and Sans, “The Bloody Queen showing up here, on Valentines day, with a date has to be a sign of the apocalypse.”

“Oh shut up Alan, you make it sound like I’ve never had a date in my life,” Y/n said rolling her eyes. 

“Not what I meant. All I’m saying is that you know once word gets out you’re gonna have to fight off more so-called “suitors” right?” Alan asked raising an eyebrow. 

“Whatever I always end up beating them up one way or the other. Besides I doubt any of them could ever measure up to the Terrible and Magnificent Sans,” Y/n replied, “Isn’t that right Sans?”

“O-OF COURSE! I DOUBT YOU WILL EVER BE ABLE TO FIND ANYONE AS INCREDIBLE AS I HUMAN QUEEN! WHICH SHOULD HARDLY COME AS A SURPRISE, SINCE I AM PERFECTION ITSELF,” Sans answered puffing out his chest with pride. 

As much fun as Y/n was having she knew it was time to move things along. Especially seeing as another employee was already leading groups back to the game area. Shooting Alan a quick look she turned to Sans, who was ranting about everything that made him a perfect monster specimen, and tapped his shoulder. 

“-AND I HAVE PERFECT CONTROL OVER MY MAGIC UNLIKE MOST MONSTERS, AND-,” Sans was saying before she cut him off., “WHAT IS IT HUMAN QUEEN?”

“It looks like they’re going to be starting soon so why don’t you head to the game area and pick out our gear okay? I have a few things I have finish up here,” Y/n said.

“I SEE. VERY WELL THEN I SHALL GO AHEAD AND CHOOSE THE VERY BEST EQUIPMENT FOR US! HONESTLY THE OTHER CONTESTANTS SHOULD JUST QUIT RIGHT NOW!” Sans declared before turning and dashing away. 

He didn’t get five feet away before he turned back around. 

“BEFORE I FORGET! I KNOW THAT WAS A PUN Y/N AND I SHALL PUNISH YOU LATER FOR IT!” Sans smirked causing Y/n to chuckle. 

“Looking forward to it,” Y/n only replied with a wink. 

With the once again blushing skeleton heading towards the back Y/n turned her attention back to Alan. He was already sliding the necessary contest forms over to her. Holding out her hand he slid a pen into it without a word. It wasn’t a surprise that Y/n that Alan knew what she needed without her having to say anything. Y/n had known Alan since before she starting fighting. He had always looked out for her, whether that meant loaning her a place to sleep some nights, or patching her up after she started fighting in the rings. Alan was always her calm in the storm, and once upon a time Y/n might have fallen for him. 

If things had been different.

“So a date huh? Lily put you up to it?” Alan asked smirking at her. 

“Yeah but you know if I’m going to go on a date then at least I’m going to make it the best kind of date,” Y/n replied with a shrug.

“And exactly what kind of date is that?”

“Oh you know, the kind where we defeat all our enemies, claim the grand prize, and look badass while we’re doing it,” Y/n replied slamming the pen down on the counter. 

Alan shook his head at her antics as Y/n rushed off. Looking over the paperwork he was only mildly surprised that it was filled out correctly. He was about to tuck the papers away with the others when he noticed the scribble down at the bottom. Looking it over Alan felt another smirk begin to stretch on his lips. 

“That girl is way too serious for her own good,” Alan muttered to himself.

_Keep your mouth shut or else! XP Oh and call a meeting for this Wednesday._

-

The game had gone pretty much the way Y/n thought it would. Most of the couples weren’t taking anything seriously (They were focused more on each other then the game or their teammates) and the ones that were didn’t have anything on her and Sans. It didn’t take them long to rack up the most points while avoiding being hit. Sans would ambush people from around corners while Y/n set up somewhere providing him cover. Sans or Y/n by themselves were nearly unstoppable, together they had destroyed the competition in the first five minutes. That is to say they weren’t immortal, it was just the few times they did get hit were rare. 

“S-sans...I can’t go on..,” Y/n groaned lifting a hand to her chest where the laser had hit.

“NO HUMAN QUEEN YOU CANNOT GIVE UP!” Sans cried falling to her side.

“Sans p-promise me,” Y/n interrupted herself by coughing, “P-promise you’ll take care of Lily for m-me.”

“PLEASE HUMAN... Y/N YOU MUST NOT LOSE HOPE! YOU CAN OVERCOME THIS!” Sans said grabbing one of Y/n’s free hands. 

“I’m sorry Sans, avenge me…” Y/n got out before she gasped for air her body going limp a moment later.

“NOOOO! Y/N! DON’T DIE!” Sans yelled his voice filled with heartbreak.

“Are you too quite finished?” Alan asked chuckling lightly.

Y/n peeked out from under her eyelids to see him leaning against one of the walls that made up the laser tag area. Sticking out her tongue Y/n hopped to her feet brushing herself off, Sans doing the same as he rose from his kneeling position. The other players who had been watching the whole skit began to wander away figuring the game was over. 

“What can I say we got bored,” Y/n shrugged as Sans handed over her gun. 

“Obviously,” Alan replied rolling his eyes, “Well we’re about to announce the results if you wanna follow me. Unless you guys want to keep on going and make them wait.”

“AS IF IT SHOULD MATTER WHEN WE ALREADY KNOW THE RESULTS,” Sans scoffed even as they began to follow Alan. 

The glares they received when they exited the room came as no surprise. Neither did they fact they won by a landslide. A couple people tried to call foul, saying that Sans had cheated and used magic, and that they didn’t deserve their prize. Alan intervened before Y/n could hurt anyone stating that there were cameras all over the laser tag area. That settled some, those that weren’t were invited back to watch the videos themselves until they were satisfied. The prospect of sitting around watching security tapes on Valentines day silenced the more outspoken contestants. 

After that it was a rush of receiving a trophy, getting their pictures taken, and then heading out to the next activity Y/n had planned. Throughout the entire thing Sans had been oddly quiet. Y/n didn’t know what was running through his mind but she just hoped she hadn’t done anything wrong. In fact everything seemed to be going according to her plans. So what was wrong? It was only when they sat down for their celebratory feast that Y/n brought up the subject. 

“Hey Sans, is something wrong?” Y/n asked once they sat down with their treats.

Y/n had opted to getting them some crepes from a local vendor and they were now sitting in the park eating. Sans for his part didn’t respond and just stared down at his treat which oozed chocolate and cherries. Y/n was starting to feel nervous again when Sans sighed and turned towards her. The look on his face was a conflicted one. 

“HUMAN QUEEN! WHILE I APPRECIATE ALL THE EFFORT YOU HAVE GONE THROUGH TODAY TO NO DOUBT IMPRESS ME I MUST SPEAK MY MIND!” Sans yelled puffing out his cheeks. 

“Okay…”

“AHEM! ANYWAY WHILE I’M SURE YOU ARE AWARE THAT THERE IS NO WAY I CAN POSSIBLY EVER RETURN YOUR FEELINGS, I MUST COMMEND YOU ON TRYING! YOU SEE I HAVE VERY HIGH STANDARDS AND WHILE YOU DO NOT MEET MANY OF THEM I AM WILLING TO SET ASIDE A FEW AND ACCEPT YOUR SUIT TO BECOME MY DATE MATE!” Sans said striking a pose that had more then a few people turning their heads to watch, “YOU ARE NO DOUBT OVERCOME WITH SUCH JOY! I DON’T BLAME YOU! NOT MANY GET A CHANCE TO BECOME THE DATE MATE OF THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SANS AND HIS MUTT! MWEHEHEHE!”

Y/n… could not handle how adorable Sans was. Before she could respond he took a giant bite out of his crepe smearing sauce everywhere. It was an even cuter sight then the one before. Holding back her snickers Y/n took a deep breath to calm herself. There was no telling what Sans would do if she busted out laughing at the moment. Instead Y/n offered him some napkins, though as he took them his words finally sunk in. 

“So does this mean you and Paps are in a relationship?”

“NO, BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN I DON’T SEE THE WAY PAPYRUS LOOKS AT YOU. IF YOU SOMEHOW MANAGE TO BECOME MY DATE MATE I HAVE NO DOUBT PAPYRUS WOULD WISH FOR YOU TO BE HIS AS WELL. ALTHOUGH I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WOULD SAY AS MUCH HIMSELF. PLUS IT WOULD NOT BE THE FIRST TIME WE HAVE SHARED A DATE MATE,” Sans answered honestly.

“Kinky.”

“SILENCE HUMAN QUEEN!” Sans shouted his face burning with his magic.

“Does this mean I have your permission to take Paps out on a date tonight?” Y/n asked wiggling her eyebrows. 

“IF YOU MUST HUMAN QUEEN. HOWEVER IF YOU THINK WOOING THE MUTT WILL INCREASE YOUR CHANCES WITH ME ANY FURTHER THEN YOU ARE WRONG,” Sans answered rolling his eyes as if everything he said should have been obvious.

“Alright then I’ll keep that in mind. Not that I want to end our date so soon but do you have somewhere you need to be? Chara mentioned something this morning but I wasn’t paying attention” Y/n said shaking her head at the smaller skeleton’s antics. 

“UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU I DO. SIR ASGORE HAS REQUESTED I WATCH CHARA FOR THIS EVENING WHILE HE AND HER MAJESTY GO OUT. YOU MUST BE SO DISAPPOINTED THAT THIS SO CALLED “DATE” MUST END SO SOON BUT DUTY COMES FIRST FOR THE GREAT AND TERRIBLE SANS!” Sans answered.

“Oh how my heart will break,” Y/n moaned playfully, “Well then why don’t I drop you now so you can get ready? There are still a few things I have to do before this evening.” 

“YES I SUPPOSE THAT WILL WORK. IT SHALL ALSO GIVE ME TIME TO PREP THE MUTT FOR YOUR DATE LATER THIS EVENING,” Sans muttered without lowering his voice in the slightest. 

“Well good if you’re ready let’s get going. By the way what happened to the flowers I gave you? I just noticed they were gone,” Y/n asked as she stood up. 

“HMM? OH I PUT THOSE AWAY IN MY PHONE. SEEING THE LOOK OF CONFUSION ON YOUR FACE I SHALL PUT IT IN SIMPLER TERMS FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND. I USED MAGIC TO STORE THEM IN A BOX WHICH IS HELD IN MY PHONE,” Sans answered finishing off his own crepe. 

“That is awesome.”

The look Sans gave her was enough to make Y/n start laughing. It was one that suggested she was a bigger idiot then he thought. The effect however was ruined by the smears of chocolate and cherry that dotted the skeletons (somehow) pudgy cheeks.

**Date Successful**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My only regret. There wasn't as much flirting in this as I would have liked.


	6. Valentines Special Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is finally! It's done! I swear to all that is holy and anime that this chapter did not want to be written! Well it has and I can get back to our previously scheduled program. Enjoy~!

The plan Y/n had for Papyrus was more of an ambush rather then a kidnapping. Y/n had of course cleared it with Muffet first before she did anything. There was no reason to make the spider monster, who’s bar had become her new favorite, mad and banning her. That’s why as soon as Papyrus arrived Muffet shot her a text.

**Little Miss Muffet: Your prey has arrived dearie**

Y/n grinned as she finished setting everything up. Looking over her past few hours of work Y/n couldn’t help but be pleased by what she had accomplished in such a short amount of time. If there was anything she learned from those night binge watching cheesy romance flicks with Lily (or more accurately forced her to watch), it was that nothing said Valentines Day then a moonlight picnic. It was made even better by the fact that a little birdie (*cough* Chara *cough*) had informed her that Papryus had a thing for stars. It was the perfect plan. Y/n was running through her mental checklist when another message popped up onto the screen of her phone. 

**Little Miss Muffet: Better hurry dear or your prey might get snatched away by some vultures**

Attached to the message was a picture of a few girls who were practically hanging off Papyrus. That more then anything got her moving. As she rode through the streets Y/n cursed under her breath. In all her planning she had never thought to include outside interference. Something she should have thought about seeing as it was Valentines Day. Lonely men and woman would jump at whatever chance they could find to spend the day living whatever fantasy popped into their heads. Y/n knew Papyrus would be a target for young men and woman looking to not spending the evening alone. Not only could they brag to others that they bagged a monster, but Papyrus wasn’t the worst looking monster out there. 

Pulling up in front of the bar Y/n rolled her eyes at the couples making out on the street, before striding inside. Originally her plan was to make a grand entrance and then sweep Papyrus off his feet. Now Y/n had to change her approach. Flipping her hair out of her face she narrowed her sights on the Skeleton, who was sitting at the bar surrounded by girls, and walked right over. Pushing her way between two girls Y/n slid her arms around Papyrus’s neck and hugged him close. Not evening caring that the girls were now glaring at her.

“There you are sweetheart, I thought I told you to wait for me to get here,” Y/n pouted reaching over to snag his drink off the bartop. 

“sorry doll must’ve forgotten,” Papyrus drawled ignoring the girls as well.

“I forgive you, not like I could stay mad at my sugar skull too long,” Y/n purred taking a sip, “Who’re you’re new friends?”

“not sure, they just came up and started talking to me,” Papyrus answered.

“You’re his girlfriend?” One of the girls asked while the others looks disheartened.

“Well you could say I’m more like his SOUL mate,” Y/n winked feeling proud when Papyrus started to chuckle beneath her.

“You don’t look like much to me, what do you say handsome ditch the hag and let us take you out for a night you’ll never forget,” One of the girls cooed batting her eyes flirtatiously.

“naw i’m good,” Papyrus answered much to the girls frustration, “besides i don’t think my mate would like that very much.”

“Got that right. Now why don’t you girls run along before someone gets hurt,” Y/n suggested.

The one who had spoken huffed and began walking away. The others followed after her, none daring to look Y/n in the eyes as she glared after them. Once they were out of sight Y/n let out a sigh and proceeded to let all her weight rest on the skeleton under her. 

“you okay there doll?” Papyrus asked seeming unfazed by her weight. 

“Just reminded how much of a pain dating is,” Y/n replied, “I’m too lazy for all this.”

“preaching to the choir doll, and not that i’m not happy about the assist but what are you doing here? last i heard you and m’lord were on a date,” He questioned taking back his drink.

“Hmm? Oh I’m here to spirit you away to a night of romance and blah blah blah,” Y/n said finally letting go of the skeleton. 

“really now?”

“Yup so finish your drink cause we are blowing this spiders den. Speaking off, you haven’t seen Muffet around have you?” Y/n asked glancing around for the spider monster. 

“Right here dearie,” Bother turned to look as Muffet walked towards them, “What an amusing display you put on. If I didn’t know better I’d say you and Papyrus were actually mates ~Ahuhuhuhuhu.”

Y/n only stuck her tongue out at the spider monster in response. Papyrus on the other hand allowed himself a moment to think about what his life would be like if Y/n truly was his mate. From what he could tell she really wasn’t the housewife type. In fact the very thought of Y/n acting like a doting housewife almost made him start laughing out loud. Papyrus could almost see it now:

Y/n would be waiting for him when he got home. A cute little apron on, dinner sitting on the table, and the feeling of relief when she would meet him at the door. 

_“Welcome home darling, I hope you’re ready for dinner I made all your favorites,” Y/n would say as he handed off his jacket to her._

_“that so? what’s the occasion?” Papyrus could hear himself ask._

_“No occasion I just wanted to do something nice for you, I even picked up some of that special barbecue sauce you like so much,” Y/n would reply after hanging his jacket up._

_“you spoil me love, it makes me want to see if you taste as sweet as you are,” Papyrus would coo into her ear, watching as a blush would grow on her cheeks._

_“Not here Rus, dinner will get cold,” He could hear Y/n whimper even as he drew closer to her._

_“it would be a shame to waste such perfectly good food,” Papyrus growled, “but i feel like having dessert first tonight.”_

_With that said he would grab Y/n and toss her onto whatever surface was closest. Not wasting a second he would smash their mouths together. Devouring every moan and whimper that Y/n would let out. Her hands would be fisted into his shirt as he dragged her closer and closer. Papyrus would run his phalanges across her skin, until they were resting against her hips. Only then would he let them slide under her skirt and.._

Blinking out of his daze Papyrus shook his head a little before looking down at his drink. That fantasy had been a little more realistic then he was planning on. Not trusting the drink anymore Papyrus pushed the glass away before turning in time to see Y/n walking his way, a box tucked under one arm. 

“You ready to go?” Y/n asked propping her hand on her hip as she observed him. 

“where are we going exactly?” Papyrus asked even as he stood up. 

“That’s for me to know and you to find out handsome,” Y/n winked as he huffed in amusement.

“riggggght nothing suspicious about that at all,” Papyrus muttered.

“What you saying you don’t trust me?” Y/n chuckled. 

“never said that,” He replied.

Y/n huffed at what went unsaid. Just cause he didn’t say it didn’t mean he trusted her. Not that Y/n could blame him. If some stranger she knew was dangerous wormed their way into her family she would be wary as well. 

“Whatever you say bone boy,” Y/n said before wrapping her arm around his, “But enough jabbering, come on we’re wasting moonlight.”

As Y/n dragged him towards the door she didn’t hesitate to sidle up to him. Pressing her entire body against his arm as they walked. Which only caused him to huff with amusement. A couple minutes later and they were pulling away from the bar in her other vehicle. A 1970 Ford Mustang that was as much her baby as her motorcycle. Y/n only took it out on special occasions, preferring to ride her motorcycle since she disliked the attention she got. It was worth it though just to see the way Papyrus gawked as she climbed in. 

“Well you coming or are you just gonna stand there?” Y/n teased after a minute. 

“damn doll, you got any other surprises i should know about?” Papyrus asked as he slid into the passenger's seat. 

“Yeah but what would be the fun if I told you?” Y/n replied with a smirk. 

After that the two sat in silence as Y/n drove them to their destination. It was a peaceful silence, one that Y/n could appreciate. It made it all the better when they finally reached the spot she’d chosen for their date. Or more as close as she could get in her vehicle. 

“so... not to be rude or anything but you lost?” Papyrus asked glancing around at the spot she’d parked. 

“I would say, “I’m lost in your eyes,” but you don’t have any,” She replied already climbing out of the car.

“maybe that’s why i’m not seeing what you are, cause this looks like the middle of nowhere to me.”Papyrus said a hint of edge in his voice. 

He had every reason to be suspicious or her. New acquaintance drags you off on a supposed “date” to the middle of nowhere had: Horror movie murder plot, written all over it. It didn’t help that the only path that could be seen was swallowed up by forest. The bushes and trees were so dense one could barely see more then a foot down the path. Thankfully Y/n was prepared for this. Pulling out her keys she tossed them to him, huffing a little in amusement when he almost dropped them. Once he had his grip secure he sent a curious glance her way. Y/n only shook her head and walked around to the trunk.

“Keep them. Consider it insurance,” She said, “As long as you have those I can’t just up and leave you here. Plus if you feel threatened at all you can just drive off without me.”

With that said Y/n winked at him before reaching into the trunk. She missed the look of surprise on the skeletons face that slowly morphed into a contemplating one. When she closed the trunk however he was back to his neutral laid back state. Acting as if nothing had happened. 

Y/n wasn’t fooled for a minute. 

“I hope you’re ready paps, tonight is not one you’re going to forget,” Y/n promised once the box was resting securely under her arm. 

Sending the skeleton monster a wink Y//n turned and began walking away from the car. Silently he followed behind her still trying to come to terms with the events that had just played out. Y/n hummed slightly as she led him following the slightly worn trail. After a couple minutes the trail cut off as they reached the beginnings of a field. In the center of the field, surrounded by a few lanterns, was a small picnic blanket and a telescope. Y/n walked right over to the setup and checked everything over once more before beckoning Papryus over. 

“What do you think?” Y/n asked as she plopped down on the blanket. 

“very cheesy doll, but in a GOUDA kind of way,” Papyrus replied chucking at his own pun as some of the tension eased off his shoulders. 

“Oh I almost forgot!” Y/n exclaimed. 

Papyrus watched her with amusement as she quickly pulled out her phone as he eased down on the blanket next to her. A second later the air around them was filled with the cheesiest, sappiest love song he had ever heard. In response to his amused look Y/n only grinned before flipping open the box and pulling out two glass bottles. 

“What? I had to set the mood,” Y/n chuckled, “Now let’s see her I have the music, alcohol, lighting, and one unwilling captive as my date. Am I missing anything?”

“what no chocolates?” Papyrus teased as he snagged one of the bottles.

“Sorry chocolates are waaaaaayyy to cliche,” Y/n replied, “But no that’s not what I forgot. Look up.”

Papyrus, who had grown used to Y/n’s antics this evening, only raised a brow bone before turning his attention upwards. What he saw took his breath away. There above him were thousands upon thousands of stars. In the city he had never seen anything like this. Maybe one or two stars here and there if he was lucky. Nothing however could compare to this. Or so he thought before the shower began. One second the sky was clear, the next it was clustered with light as meteors began shooting by faster then he could count. As he watched a feeling began to well up in his chest. One that he couldn’t name. The only way he could describe it was to compare it to the moment he had seen the sun for the very first time. 

Y/n smirked at the look of awe on Papyrus’s face. She thought about asking if he wanted to use the telescope, (the only reason she’d lugged it up here in the first place) but decided against it. Instead Y/n stretched out on the blanket to watch the show tugging Papyrus down with her. It was a true testament to how enraptured he was by the sight before him, that he didn’t even protest. Together they lay there watching until it was over. Once the last meteor had shot across the sky Y/n turned to Papyrus with a smug grin. 

“So? Was I right or what?” She asked propping her head up with one hand. 

“bout what doll?” Papyrus questioned still slightly awe struck. 

“I told you tonight was one you’re not going to forget and I think I lived up to that promise.”

“oh doll you have no idea,” Papyrus said before grinning wickedly, “the only way it could be more memorable is if you stripped right here.”

“Sorry that costs extra big boy,” Y/n joked before sitting up.

“shame,” Papyrus snickered before pulling out a cigarette. 

Sipping on the monster alcohol Muffet had packed Y/n shook her head. Even though this hadn’t been her idea at first Y/n could admit that it could have gone worse. Knocking back another sip she allowed herself to relax shifting so she was now leaning back against Papyrus. Who shifted to support her without a word. The didn’t speak after that, both just sitting there and enjoying the night. Y/n wasn’t sure how it happened or who started it. Just that one moment they were laying there, and the next. . . . well. . . .

-

“You fell asleep?!” Lily demanded the next day.

“Ow Lils volume,” Y/n whined in pain. 

“That’s what you deserve! I can’t believe you took them both on dates and didn’t even get one kiss!” Lily barked before groaning, “You are a horrible role model I hope you know.”

“Ugh whatever just stop shouting,” Y/n complained.

Ducking around her sister Y/n moved to the kitchen to fetch another mug of coffee. Lily had cornered her as soon as she’d woken up. Despite the fact that Y/n had been barely conscious Lily forced her to recount every detail of her two dates. Only to whine and complain about every single detail. (“You took him to laser tag? What’s romantic about that?” “Really? Crepes from a food truck were the best you could do?” “What do you mean you didn’t get him any chocolates?) Honestly Y/n wasn’t even sure how she’d gotten home last night. Though the keys sitting on the table along with the rest of her things pretty much told her all she needed to know. 

“Did you at least flirt?” Lily asked as she followed her sister. 

“You really think I would go on a date and not flirt?” Y/n asked shooting her sister a “duh” look. 

“Well okay that was a stupid question but come on! It’s not like you’re going to go on another date any time soon!” Lily pouted. 

Y/n was about to drink some of her coffee when she stopped. Thinking back to the two dates she’d just been on she realized they weren’t that bad. In fact they were kind of nice. With that thought Y/n smirked.

“Well you never know,” Y/n commented.

“Wait what’s that mean?” Lily asked suspiciously.

“Nothing nothing,” Y/n replied smirking even wider. 

“No come on you have to tell me!” 

“Nah it’s much more fun to see you squirm.”

As the two playfully fought Y/n couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if there were two other people there. Specifically two bony brothers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as I want them to kiss at that moment something held me back. I'm not sure what it is but I'm sure it's for the best. Or that could just be my way of saying I'm not completely happy with this chapter. Oh yeah btw that little scene was kind of my way of saying this is what would happen if maid chan lived in this world and was in love with Paps. Lol.


End file.
